Because Wendi Said So!!!

You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up!

2011-03-03T20:25:00.000-05:00

Over a year ago it became necessary to add unlimited texting to our cellular plan.

That or be plagued with gazillion dollar cell phone bills each month.

Thankyouverymuchchildren.

I chose unlimited.

My husband swore he would never use it.

Swore.

Never.

Why would he type out what he wanted to say instead of just picking up the phone and saying it?

After realizing what a time saver and convenience it was, he became an avid texter.

And we couldn’t be more proud.

Or confused.

Case in point…this was our text conversation a few nights ago:

Me: Need u to pick up Claire from dnce. Txt me when u leave wrk.

Husband: K

*30 mins later*

Me: Where r u?

Husband: ch

Me: Huh?

What the?

ch?

church? chewing? choking?

I have no idea.

The Husband walked in the back door and I look at him still perplexed as to what “ch” meant.

I had to know.

So I asked.

He laughed.

“Oh Wendi…don’t you know anything?”

“Coming Home!”

But of course.

Why didn’t I think of that?

And yes…just like that he invented his own text language.

I am checking into taking him off our plan.

Clearly he is not ready.

Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car?

2011-01-26T20:45:00.000-05:00

In the fall I received an email announcing upcoming dates for drivers education.

I laughed.

However did my name get put on the list for drivers ed students?

Clearly they had made a mistake.

I hit delete and never thought about it again until Christmas.

One of my dear friends asked me if I signed Chase up for drivers ed yet?

Um….no.

We have boys that are ten days apart, surely she knew this.

They are only fourteen.

“But they will be fifteen in March”, she gently reminded me.

Gasp!!!

Denial…anyone?

His first class was this morning at 6 am.

I didn’t sleep all night.

I tossed.

I turned.

I watched the clock.

I checked on him fifteen times.

Clearly I am not ready for this.

And this my friends… is just the classroom part.

Reunited

2011-01-25T09:52:00.000-05:00

While perusing the computer for a homework assignment,

I stumbled upon an old flame.

A true love actually.

And I found myself unable to resist the temptation.

I felt like a giddy school girl.

Blushing as I read.

Laughing at old photos.

Reliving days gone by.

How could I have forgotten so easily?

How could I have tucked it all away and never looked back?

Is it possible to rekindle a forgotten love?

My dear internets, it is never too late.

I am proof.

After begging forgiveness and professing my undying love…..

We are reunited.

And it feels so good. (Name that artist)

Never to be separated again.

At least not for months at the time.

So Happy Get Back With Your Blog Day to me!

If you will excuse us…we have some catching up to do!

See you tomorrow!!!

Decision Time

2010-09-10T00:27:00.001-04:00

So…I have been thinking.

I know.

That could be dangerous.

But I have been.

Sometimes it has been while waiting in the carpool lane.

(The carpool lanes I should say. At three different schools. But that is another post. For another time. Be jealous.)

Other times I have awakened in the middle of the night.

Thinking.

And in the midst of all this cerebral activity I have come up with a solution to one of my many problems.

No… not split ends.

Or teeth whitening.

You see, I suffer from indecisiveness.

Simply put: I can’t make a decision.

Without worrying.

And fretting.

And chewing the inside of my cheek.

So in all my thinking…

I have come to the conclusion….

that what I really need is to hire a decision maker.

I am not looking for someone to decide the big stuff.

I can do that.

Want more babies?

No.

Want to make more money?

Yes.

I am looking for someone to make small daily decisions on my behalf.

Like what should I eat for breakfast?

Or should I eat at all?

What should I wear?

Should I work today or try to catch up on my homework?

What color should I paint the bathroom?

Should I cook or call for take-out?

Pepsi or Coke?

Paper or Plastic?

You see where I am going with this.

So, send me your resumes.

Only serious decision makers need apply.

No flip floppers wanted.

That is all.

Because One Open Letter Just Wasn’t Enough

2010-03-04T11:44:00.000-05:00

Dear Husband,

Thank you from the bottom of my little heart for spending every single night scraping, priming, puttying, and painting my kitchen. I promise not to complain when I see brush strokes or tiny imperfections. I know you are doing this because you ~~are a tightwad~~ love me. I understand why you want me to take the kids and “move out” Saturday when you install my new floor. I promise to stay away and not peek. Just promise me you will use a level and that no duct tape will be involved in this project.

xoxox,

Your wifey who expects a brand new kitchen from a $30 can of paint

Dear Furniture Seller Guy,

Remember how you sold me a sofa 5 weeks ago? Remember how you said it was in stock and it could be in my family room in 2 days? Remember how you told me I would save money buying it from your store because all your furniture was manufactured locally? Remember that sign that hung in your window that said”Ask me how to have furniture delivered in 2 days?” I am asking. How? Because the last time I checked, I don’t have a new sofa. Or chair. And you are 4 1/2 weeks past your promised delivery date. When I called you yesterday to inquire about my furniture, you had no answers, just excuses. I really find it hard to believe that in 2010 you can’t look on a computer and see where my furniture is. Texas? Missouri? Mexico? The North Pole? I just need you to find it and if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, deliver it! I would love it if that could happen in oh, say…..2 DAYS!!!

Best,

The slightly pissed off girl who is sitting on the floor

Dear Chase,

Please always remember this day as the “Day My Mom Kept Her Cool”. I want you to think about my tone and posture as I opened up my cell phone bill and discovered that the amount due was akin to my mortgage payment. Think of the calm way in which I asked if you had any idea of the number of texts you sent and received this month. Remember how I gave you a hug and told you I wouldn’t blame you or take your phone. I want you to remember this day my dear son, because if it ever happens again, I might not be so cool.

Love,

Mommy

PS Welcome to the world of unlimited texting. You. are. welcome.

Dear Winter,

I am over you. Please go find another state to bother. I have always enjoyed your brief visits and slightly cooler temperatures. You have overstayed your welcome and quite frankly… I am freezing. On your way out, please take the snow with you.

Sincerely,

The girl with five layers of clothes on and frostbite

Dear Spring,

Oh how I have missed you. I will welcome you with open arms. Arms that are not confined by heavy coats and bulky sweaters. Please come soon.

Love,

Your biggest fan

Do You See What I See?

2010-02-24T16:25:00.000-05:00

I found this fun little wooden embellishment to go on my freshly painted cabinets.

I primed it and left it to dry.

While I was at school, Mr. Because Wendi Said So decided to finish some painting and surprise me by hanging my little embellishment.

Sweet…no?

Not only did he hang it, he glued it with wood glue.

I believe his exact words were, “That sucker isn’t going any where!”

So how do I tell him he hung it upside down?

And that every time I look at it all I see is female body parts.

A uterus and fallopian tubes to be exact.

Which clearly was not the look I was going for.

See what I mean….

Clean Hands. Cute Bottles.

2010-02-19T20:51:00.001-05:00

I found the cutest little project.

I would love to claim it as my own.

I have always been told that creativity is not revealing ones source.

I have also been taught that honesty is the best policy.

Therefore, I will reveal that I found the project here.

Chris is one creative girl!

Since last week was Valentine’s Day, I couldn’t resist making a few.

I also couldn’t resist sharing the fun with you.

Teacher Appreciation week is just around the corner.

And St. Patrick’s Day.

And Easter.

Sorry I got a little ahead of myself.

Shall we get started?

Go out and buy bottles of hand sanitizer.

With the pumps.

Any brand will do.

Carefully peel off all the labels so you have a clean surface.

I used a product called goo-gone to remove any sticky residue left by the labels.

Buy lots of pretty ribbon.

When you think you have enough…buy a few more rolls.

Just to be sure.

Find some fun stickers to go with your theme.

I chose letters, because I am a monogram kind of girl.

Place your monogram on the middle of your bottle.

Tie on lots of pretty ribbon.

Give one to all the teachers in your life.

And your germaphobe friends.

Just don’t forget to keep one for yourself!

The one where I don’t leave you hanging…

2010-02-18T01:39:00.000-05:00

What is it about me writing posts that leaves my readers hanging?

I. am. sorry.

Truly.

Please let me explain.

My parents invited me to visit.

Me.

Only ME!

And I started envisioning adult conversation.

And eating out.

And shopping.

So when the hubs agreed to watch the kidlets for 24 hours…I grabbed my bags and braved the elements.

Ice and snow did not deter me.

I had the most wonderful 24 48 hours ever!

I ate.

And laughed.

And cried.

And ate.

And shopped.

Did I mention we ate?

And I didn’t cook once.

I felt twelve all over again.

Minus the over-processed perm.

And mall bangs.

My parents spoiled me rotten.

I do love some good spoilin’…I find it a wonderful quality in a person.

The time came for me to return home.

I tried to imagine my husband, completely exhausted.

Begging me to never leave again.

Repeating over and over, “How do you do it?”

What I didn’t expect?

My kitchen to be painted.

And five things off the honey-do list to be done.

Which left me saying, “How did he do it?”

Not Me! Monday

2010-02-02T02:11:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday.

The place where I confess all my imperfections and shortcomings.

Or not.

It’s MckMama’s fault.

I will blame her.

Let the confessional begin…

I have not been home for three days.

Against my will.

And it would have nothing to do with snow and ice.

Schools were not cancelled today.

And they certainly are not delayed two hours tomorrow.

That would be ridiculous.

I do not have cabin fever.

So tonight… I did not jump in my suburban (sans children) and head westward.

I did not leave my children in the ~~sometimes not so sure~~ totally capable hands of my husband.

He will not have to get three children ready for school tomorrow.

He will not have to prepare lunches.

Or snacks.

He will not have to deliver children to different schools.

On time.

He will not have to pick up children from school.

Or basketball practice.

He will not have to run carpool.

He will not have to help with homework.

Or take Claire to dance.

Nope, not him.

And I will not be shopping.

Or napping.

Or eating out.

Not me.

And I certainly will not be hoping that he is just a little exhausted when I return.

Labels, Labels, Everywhere!

2010-01-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

Thanks for your permission to take a little nap yesterday.

And by little I mean 15 minutes.

Power naps are the new black.

Those were 15 glorious minutes though.

Anyhoo.

I decided that today I would share a little of my OCD.

My neurosis if you will.

The one that causes me to alphabetize, well…everything.

And label everything else.

Mr.. Because Wendi Said So bought me a label maker for Christmas.

Which made me fall in love with him all. over. again.

I started removing all the old labels from containers and boxes.

I then proceeded to use an entire roll of labeling tape.

In two hours.

I then ~~made~~ asked (in my sweetest voice) Mr.. Because Wendi Said So to get off his keister and buy me some more.

He did.

And then I went about relabeling my pantry.

Everything got a fresh label.

A face lift.

I can’t tell you how excited I get when I fling open the pantry doors looking for ~~Oreo's~~ rice cakes.

Now if I could just get the hubs to put a fresh coat of paint in there….

Give me your tired…

2010-01-27T11:20:00.002-05:00

I am tired.

Actually tired doesn’t begin to describe it.

Exhausted.

No.

Near deaths door.

Now we’re talking.

I am not sure if it is because I had two of my three kids home the last four days.

Or because they had friends over.

Or because I had to break up 526 fights.

Or because I had to do 4,518 loads of laundry.

Or because I had to answer the phone 189 times.

Or because my doorbell rang ten times.

Or because yesterday also involved basketball practice, dance, scouts, a PTA board meeting (that I never made it to), and working the concession stand.

Or because after toting three children to basketball practice, dance, scouts, and a friends house I had to take a test.

Three tests to be exact.

Which happened to be two hours each.

You do the math.

And… I didn’t start on them until 9:30pm.

Would you judge me if I crawled back into bed right now?

Not Me! Monday

2010-01-25T14:45:00.002-05:00

Welcome one and all to my weekly edition of Not Me! Monday.

A place where I can confess all the things I have not done this week.

Won’t you join me?

I am not home again with two of my children today.

Nope not me.

The school would never schedule a teachers workday one week after a holiday.

Can you imagine?

And they certainly wouldn’t schedule a workday two days in. a. row.

************************************
I did not have a moment of complete insanity.

And it did not have anything to do with letting my five year old have his very first sleep over last night.

Definitely not.

I did not live to tell about it.

It did not go surprisingly well.

I did not walk in on a conversation between the two five year olds and think they were discussing child labor laws.

Seriously.

I did not discover upon further investigation that in fact they were discussing how Batman lasers bad guys on the Wii
.
Same thing…right?

**********************************
My dear blog friend Krystyn did not bring to my attention that my email had somehow been disabled.

She is not thoughtful.

Try as I might, I could not get it to work.

I did not then ask Krystyn how to fix the problem.

She did not refer me to this post.

Laughter did not ensue.

The post was not one I had written myself explaining how to do the very thing that was perplexing me.

I do not feel silly.

**********************
Now is your turn.

What haven’t you done this week?

Pink Apples and Purple Pears ...Oh my!

2010-01-20T23:24:00.010-05:00

Nineteen years.

Nineteen years of marriage.

And let's not forget the years of dating.

But who's counting?

You would think my husband knew most things about me.

Important things.

Like the way I like my towels folded.

Or how I like my eggs.

And how I have aversions to printed paper towels.

What?

Tell me I am not alone.

Just yesterday I asked Mr. Because Wendi Said So to pick up some paper towels on his way home from work.

Easy request.

Only not so much.

He brought home paper towels of the printed variety.

Of the pink apple and purple pear variety.

Who has a pink apple and purple pear theme going on in their kitchen these days I ask you?

Certainly not me.

I then asked him if he knew of my notsofondofprintedpapertowels issues.

He of course said he had no idea.

Bless. his. heart.

I wonder what else he doesn't know.

Hmmm...

If you are visiting me this week and need a paper towel, you can find them stored under the sink.

Way in the back.

Not Me! Monday

2010-01-18T16:00:00.000-05:00

Well my friends it is Monday.

And we know what that means.

Yes, it is time to strip the beds and start the laundry.

But that wasn't what I was talking about.

I am talking about confessions of the Not Me! variety.

Thanks to MckMama for hosting this weekly confessional.

It always makes me feel better.

Oh how I have missed this little 'fessing up time!

I have not been attempting to put all the Christmas boxes and ribbons around here in the attic.

Nope, not me.

It is the middle of January for heavens sake and that would be ridiculous.

I have not procrastinated the assent into the attic for fear of freezing my hinney-bones off.

It has not been like 35 degrees here which would make the attic -35.

I am not just a little bit tired of the labeled red and green boxes that are lining my hallway.

I am not even more tired of the freezing temperatures in eastern North Carolina.

I am not ready for spring.

And sunshine.

And fresh air.

I have not been watching my 13 year old workout with his P90X.

I have not started sweating just watching him.

I am not considering attempting this workout.

I am not hoping that someone will leave me a comment and talk me out of that insanity.

And especially not NOW!

I am not home today in celebration of MLK day.

And I am certainly not home with all three kiddos.

I am not excited about school tomorrow.

Not. one. little. bit.

I'm BAAACCCCKKKK!!!

2010-01-17T19:26:00.001-05:00

Hello?

Anyone still here?

There is nothing quite like taking a few days off and realizing almost two months have passed.

Yikes!

How did that happen?

I never meant to just abandon my blog.

Or you.

I took my final exams and took off to finish Christmas shopping.

Shopping turned into wrapping.

And decorating.

And baking.

And celebrating.

And let's not forget eating.

Actually let's do.

Let's forget all about the deliciousness that made its way to my thighs.

It seems to have taken up residence there.

Permanently.

I digress.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

And Christmas.

And New Year.

It is really hard to fathom that I didn't share all of those bloggable moments with you.

But I feel certain that 2010 will be full of them!

Happy Thanksmas Year!!!

Bringing Home the Bacon

2009-11-19T14:15:00.000-05:00

Aren't these just adorable?

I made them for a Teacher Appreciation brunch last week.

I knew you would appreciate them too.

I will gladly share how to make these chocolaty breakfast looking creations.

You will need three key ingredients:

Pretzel sticks

White chocolate almond bark

yellow m'n m's.

You will also need a strong arm to stir the chocolate.

First you want to melt the chocolate.

Place chocolate in a microwave safe bowl and cook for 1 minute.

Stir.

It should be creamy and smooth.

If more time is needed, warm for 15 second intervals.

Do. not. over. cook.

If you burn it, it is no good and must be thrown out at once.

Continuing...

Place a dollop of white chocolate on wax paper or aluminum foil.

Just a dollop will do you.

Gingerly place one yellow m'n m on the chocolate.

Do not place it in the middle.

You still have bacon to gingerly place too.

If you find that you accidentally placed your m'n m in the middle, never fear.

Just serve the non-meat treat to your vegetarian friends.

Where were we?

Oh yes..now place two pretzel sticks (bacon) on the white chocolate.

Let it cool and Wa-la!

A breakfast sensation: Bacon and Eggs.

What are you waiting for?

Go make yourself a few.

You. are. welcome.

Dear Gym

2009-11-12T13:00:00.001-05:00

Dear Gym,

It wasn't you. It was me. I just couldn't bring myself to be with you every. single. day. It was too much. I needed to take a little break in our relationship. I needed more time to ~~sleep~~ ~~eat double stuffed oreo's~~ spend with my family.

I know that it has been over a year since we last got together, but I've had lots of time to eat, I mean think. After much soul searching I have decided we should get back together. I promise it has absolutely nothing to do with this embarrassing moment. Or the fact that my pants wouldn't button this morning. It has more to do with the fact that I really need you. Oh how I need you.

I promise to give it a go. I give you my word that I will show up and not wish I was ~~in bed~~ somewhere else. I hope you will open your ~~heart~~ doors and let me back in. I need your weapons of fat destruction to whip me in shape. And if possible, could you do it by Christmas?

Your fluffy girl,
Me

A Storm is Brewing?

2009-11-11T19:00:00.001-05:00

I am a weather kinda girl.

I check weather.com every morning to know how to dress my children for the day.

I know all the weather personalities on the weather channel.

I refer to them by their first name.

Jim. Mike. Stephanie. Dr. Steve.

And I may or may not consider them part of my family.

So imagine my surprise when huge clouds arrived yesterday bringing an onslaught of rain.

I had no clue.

How did I not know this?

Has my head been in the books so much lately that I didn't even know I needed to prepare for the imminent arrival of Ida ?

Apparently so, because I just caught up on all-things-weather and we are under a flood advisory, high wind advisory, and are expected to get 8 inches of rain by Friday night.

Excuse me while I go stock up on non-perishables and bottled water.

And gas up the boat.

Not Me! Monday

2009-11-03T00:30:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama.

Yes, I know it's not Monday.

Welcome to my life.

I did not spend 4,167 hours of my precious time this past week writing a 5 page essay for my Old Testament class.

Nope, not me.

Because that would make me want to swear.

And swearing about a religious paper just doesn't seem right.

My professor did not suggest that we needed to turn in a flawless paper.

Perfect grammar was not suggested either.

I did not evoke the help of my friends, neighbors, family, teachers, and random people on the street.

I would never ask them to read and critique my paper.

That would be asking for trouble.

And opinions.

And lots of red ink marks all over my paper.

Thank heavens I wasn't foolish enough to do that.

The stress would have been too much.

Just to be clear, I did not ingest 5000 additional calories every ~~day~~ ~~hour~~ second.

Because feeding stress with Halloween candy is a "no no".

Especially if it is chocolate Halloween candy.

And more especially if it is bite size.

A Gentle Reminder

2009-10-28T09:42:00.005-04:00

A tragic accident occurred a few weeks ago.

It involved a four wheeler.

And a 17 year old.

He was a friend of Chase.

His mom, a dear friend of mine.

Somehow blogging just hasn't felt right.

There wasn't much to write about.

Nothing seemed funny.

Or witty.

I couldn't type anything that seemed appropriate.

I cried often.

My heart still breaks for his family.

I. can. not. imagine.

I can't even begin to.

I don't know how I could endure the loss of a child.

And yet, I do.

I am most grateful for the faith I have and for the understanding that this family will be reunited again one day.

That knowledge alone brings me great comfort.

I am grateful for the power of prayer.

I am also grateful that I have been given a gentle reminder that each day is precious.

Let us all be reminded of that.

Hug your children a little tighter today.

Tell your family you love them.

Mend fences.

Build bridges.

Make that phone call you have been putting off.

Have a picnic on the living room floor.

Laugh.

Buy ice cream.

Dance.

Live with no regrets.

Be happy.

Dear Mr. Gas Meter Reader

2009-10-13T14:36:00.008-04:00

Dear Mr. Gas Meter Reader,

I would like to send you my deepest apologies for the image that I feel certain will forever be etched in your memory. As you rounded the corner of my house this morning, I am sure that you were not expecting to see me. And by me, I mean ALL of me. Perhaps you got a little too close to my window. I don't usually make it a habit of parading around my home nekkid. Most of the time I can be found completely covered. But today, my dear reader of my meter, was not your lucky day. I had just showered and realized I forgot my towels. The linen closet is just outside my bedroom. I tiptoed to the closet. I reached for the towels. And. there. you. were. It was definitely a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am quite certain that you were not prepared to see that much white, dimply flesh. I pray you did not eat breakfast this morning. Oh, how I pray. And I hope this will not cause you to have aversions to cheese that is cottage. (Though I feel sure that it will) I hope your corneas will heal soon and you will not intentionally overcharge me this month.

The nekkid chick in the window,
Me

You know you live in a small town when....

2009-10-07T15:30:00.001-04:00

You pick up the local paper and read this:

On Sept. 28, a woman reported someone pried open her front door and stole the following: Food valued at $4 and a speaker box valued at $50.

On Sept. 29, an employee of a local grocery store reported someone stole the following: A bag of chips valued at $1, two packages of lemon drops valued at $1, and a box of aluminum foil valued at $1. All items were recovered and the incident was cleared by an arrest.

Seriously?

Do we not have anything more exciting to report?

I have more excitement going on in my home than that.

On Sept. 29, a five year old stole his sisters Oreo and refused to give it back. He denied the incident but was found guilty when the evidence of said cookie was all over his face. Punishment is pending.

On Sept. 30, an incident of assault with a deadly weapon was reported as a thirteen year old, who certainly knew better, whacked his little brother in the head with a ping pong paddle. Punishment was immediately administered.

Oh, and for the record...if I am ever caught stealing, please let it be for an 87" plasma and not a ham sandwich and cough drops.

Not Me! Monday

2009-10-05T23:00:00.000-04:00

It seems like ages since I have participated in this little ray of sunshine I call Not Me! Monday.

Actually, I didn't name it.

MckMama did.

It is her thing...I just participate.

Let's get started, shall we?

I did not let my first born play football this year.

Nope, not me.

He is a seventh grader for heavens sake.

I am protective of my babies and am quite fond of their bones.

I am especially fond of bones that are in one piece.

If I did let my first born play such sports, I most certainly would not let him play far from home.

And certainly not in remote locations that do not have cell phone service.

Or paved roads.

I am kidding about the roads.

I think.

I must know where my children are at all times.

And what condition their bones are in.

So, I would never, ever text every person that I knew to find out about said bones.

Or teeth.

That would be a tad bit overprotective.

And that is definitely not me.

A Match Made In Math Heaven

2009-10-01T10:38:00.006-04:00

Would you like to hear something funny?

Think hilarious.

I am substitute teaching today in the eighth grade.

No, that is not the funny part.

Guess what subject I am teaching?

Yup, you guessed it....math.

And not just any 'ole math, oh no.

Algebra.

I am not so good at the Algebra....remember ?

Let's just keep it our little secret okay?

I pray no one asks me a question.

Square roots, Inequalities, and Polynomials...OH MY!!!

2009-09-17T11:00:00.002-04:00

I am not sure how it happened.

I remember signing up for my fall classes.

I remember my advisor saying that I needed another math.

I just don't remember agreeing.

It must have been a moment of weakness.

Or desperation.

You see... I don't do math.

Let alone Algebra.

I stinketh at the Algebra.

Give me a book to read.

Give me a sentence to diagram.

But, please oh please...don't give me an algebraic equation.

Did I mention that am not so good at the Algebra?

Anyhoo...I bought my book and began to think way back to a time I knew how to solve an equation.

Way. back.

20 years back.

I thought and thought, but it didn't help.

I tried to work out problems, but that didn't work either.

So I closed my eyes, said a prayer and took my first quiz.

What happened?

I am so glad you asked.

I (insert word that rhymes with mailed) it.

And I did what any good student would do.

I cried.

I composed an email (or ten) to my professor to drop the class.

And I called my Dad.

My wise father suggested I ~~stop whining~~ ~~grow up~~ get a tutor.

So I did.

I think my tutor is blown away by my mathematical skills.

Or lack of.

She mentioned during our first session that I had really nice handwriting.

She also said my College Algebra book was pretty.

I am sure hoping that a pretty book and nice handwriting will get me an A!

K is for Kindergarten, Kisses, and Kleenex

2009-09-14T08:30:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was spent trying to convince my 5 year old that he needed to go to kindergarten.

Trying.

Last weekend my 5 year old spent every waking moment trying to convince us that kindergarten should in fact be canceled.

Indefinitely.

Tuesday morning arrived and a very different child emerged from his room.

An excited child.

An eager to pack his lunch child.

A hurryupIwanttoseemyteacher child.

And so began our first day.

A great start.

A new beginning.

Please note that this post was scheduled to post 3 weeks ago. I have got it together don't I?

One Hot Mess!

2009-08-18T22:56:00.007-04:00

Because I have been absent from my little blog for the last few weeks, I will try to catch you up on the crazy that is my life.

Last Thursday Cole developed a fever.

It continued on Friday.

Our family vacation was to begin on Sunday.

Are you still with me?

Good....just checking.

Between Friday and Sunday, Cole saw the doctor twice.

His fever remained over 104 most of the time.

This mommy was freaking.

But only on the inside.

I sent my husband and two other children on to the beach.

With my suburban.

And our boat.

And all the food in our refrigerator.

The plan was that Cole and I would join them on Monday.

That was a great plan.

In my mind.

However, Cole continued with fever.

Shots were administered.

Blood work was ordered.

Tests were given.

The fever continued.

So we stayed.

And snuggled.

And watched movies together.

And ordered out, because our cupboards were bare.

And we dreamed of sunny days playing at the beach.

Finally we got the "go ahead" on Wednesday.

We drove as fast as we could to the beach.

The next morning, we enjoyed 10 glorious minutes at the pool before the rains fell.

And fell.

And didn't let up until late afternoon on Friday.

Do you see where I am going with this?

Yup, one day of sun and fun.

One.

Saturday.

But it was glorious!

Cole?

He is just fine.

They never found any serious reason for his high fevers.

We are just thrilled to have our energetic little five year old back!

Even if our vacation...really wasn't.

My Camera May Just Be Smarter Than Me

2009-07-31T19:03:00.004-04:00

A friend of mine called me earlier in the summer and inquired if I would be interested in taking a photography class.

Absolutely!

I have owned my precious Nikon for over a year and I must admit that I rarely shoot unless I am in the auto mode.

You can pick your jaw up off the floor.

And stop rolling your eyes.

I know it is really unconscionable to think I have a nice SLR camera and I am not taking full advantage of all it has to offer.

I know about white balance.

I have read about apertures.

I have heard about ISO's.

But I don't get it.

So I signed up for an intro class.

And after my second class last night I am thrilled to report that I STILL DON'T GET IT!!!

I took great notes.

I listened intently.

I reviewed what I learned on the way home.

Then I spent the day at the pool with the kiddos and my Nikon.

I started thinking about white balance.

And apertures.

And ISO's.

By the time I figured out what I wanted my settings to be...the moment was lost.

And most of my photos were of the splashes left behind when my more than frustrated kids swam away from me.

At one point...Cole had a mask and snorkel on.

He looked adorable.

It was THE perfect moment.

It was taking me so long to make a decision the mask started to fog up.

And Cole took it off, gasping for breath.

Really?

Was it too much to ask for him to hold his breath, short of turning blue, so I could get the perfect shot?

Hopefully my next class will address that.

Just Peachy!

2009-07-28T14:39:00.004-04:00

A friend dropped off a few bags of peaches the other day.

Fresh peaches.

Delicious peaches.

Over 75 peaches.

What's a girl to do with so many peaches?

Make stuff.

And so I did.

I decided to share with you one of my favorite new found recipes.

It is beyond delish.

Your taste buds will thank you.

And beg for more.

What is this recipe you ask?

Peach Salsa.

Now before you go sticking your nose up and saying yuck...try it.

You will thank me.

Again.

And again.

You will need the following ingredients for your salsa.

2 cups of chopped Fresh Peaches

1/4 cup of chopped red onion

1/4 cup of chopped red pepper

1 jalapeno pepper chopped and seeded

Arrange all your ingredients in a bowl so it looks pretty enough to photograph.

Then you will add 2 teaspoons of lime juice and 1/4 tsp of salt.

Stir.

Hello lover.

Cover and chill.

The only thing that would make this better is fresh cilantro.

Which I intend to add later.

If I have any left.

You might as well double or triple this recipe.

You are going to kick yourself if you don't.

Not that I would know anything about that.

Happy eating.

Prayers for Stellan

2009-07-27T17:00:00.000-04:00

Today is Monday.

Monday for me usually means a big, fat, Not Me Monday post.

Those posts are hosted by MckMama.

Her little boy, Stellan, is very sick today.

Very, very sick.

You can read about him here.

And here.

Instead of posting...I will be praying.

He really needs prayers.

Won't you help me say a few?

Thanks.

Forever

2009-07-23T20:27:00.001-04:00

When I think of my own wedding I have wonderful memories.

But hey it was MY wedding.

I hardly think my guests remember the color of my bridesmaids dresses.

Or the flavor of the cake that was served at the reception.

I am not sure I remember the flavor.

One thing is for sure.

The guests at this wedding will never forget it.

And those friends who didn't attend are kicking themselves for not replying.

Enjoy!

Overheard

2009-07-22T09:30:00.005-04:00

Me: "Cole, you need to pick up these toys and put them back in your room."

Cole: "You've got to be kidding me!"

...........................................................................

Nana:"Those Charlie horses really messed up the grass in my front yard."

Me: "Really? How do leg cramps cause issues for your grass?"

Nana: "My legs are fine, but my grass has dead spots from all those Charlie horses the roofers had laying around."

Me: "Multiple roofers were thrashing around on your grass from leg cramps?"

Nana:"No silly they put boards on their Charlie horses"

Me: "Boards? I haven't heard that one. I was always told you need to eat more bananas."

Nana: "Okay...am I not using the right word again?"

Me: "I think the word you were looking for is Saw horses."

Nana:"Yeah...that too!"

................................................................................................

Claire: "Could you take me out to the country one day and teach me how to drive?"

Me:"Um... You have six years before you will be driving."

Claire:"Well, I need to start practicing."

...................................................................................................

Chase: "May I mow the grass? It looks like it needs cutting."

Me: " You are my favorite."

Note that all my children are my favorite, but at that very moment...Chase was.

It Is Possible To Teach An Old Dog New Tricks

2009-07-16T18:30:00.001-04:00

If you follow me on Twitter then you know I have been taking a continuing education class this week.

Effective Teacher Training to be exact.

All. week.

All. day.

Every. day.

I will admit that I was not looking forward to it.

I envisioned a little old lady standing at the front of the room reading to me from a text book.

With those glasses on the end of her nose.

All. day.

Every. day.

Thank goodness I am not good at the envisioning.

I have the most amazing teacher.

A. maz. ing.

In three days, I have not seen her look at a note.

She hasn't read to me.

Or put me to sleep.

She knows her stuff.

And she is quite entertaining.

I even find myself disappointed we have to break for lunch.

Can you imagine me not wanting to eat?

I know...me either...but try to imagine it.

Now I am going to let you in on a little secret.

Shhhh.

Come closer.

I have learned a lot about myself this week.

A. lot.

I am not going to lie to you...it ain't all good.

I have been blaming my kids for most of what is wrong around our home.

Imagine my surprise when lo and behold I figured out it was mostly me.

Moi.

So I came home Monday and regrouped.

Reevaluated.

And applied what I learned that day.

I can not begin to tell you the difference it made.

Life changing even.

In three short days, my kids are behaving differently because I am.

I have not told them of the changes.

But I am quite certain they are aware of them.

They have to be.

I just wish I had been given this information 13 years ago.

You know back when Chase was born and I was given the
Everything-You-Ever-Wanted-to-Know-About-Motherhood Manual.

You got one....right?

Not Me! Monday!

2009-07-13T22:00:00.001-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog and see what she and every one else have NOT been doing this week.

I did not just spend another long weekend Internetless.

That would be ridiculous.

And unacceptable.

I did not tell Suddenlink that a divorce was imminent.

I certainly did not offer them one ~~of my kidneys~~ final chance to make our relationship work.

They did not send someone over to find that my cable modem needed to be replaced.

I did not utter the words, " Are you freakin' kidding me? The modem?"

Because I had never asked if that could be the problem.

Ever.

And definitely not five times.

I am not over-my-keyboard happy that when I click on the Internet...well...I actually get on the Internet.

What a concept!

My husband did not bring home a label maker from work.

He did not need it for a work related project.

I did not squeal with delight when I saw it.

Nope, not I.

Because labels do nothing for me.

I don't get all kinds of worked up over labels and color coding and alphabetizing.

And I would never get so into the making of said labels that I wouldn't notice Cole sleep walking down the hall.

And if Cole happened to sleep walk, which he clearly did not, he most certainly would not have peed a little on his freshly laundered sheets.

And no pee pee would have dribbled on the hard wood floor.

Not in his bedroom.

Or the hall way.

Or the family room.

Or the kitchen.

And he definitely would not have sleep walked his way into the half bath only to
stand in front of the toilet, eyes closed, pants up and pee all over the closed seat.

Thank goodness that DID NOT happen because that would have been quite the mess.

And I was tired and did not have hours to spend washing sheets and pajamas and scrubbing floors.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

Join me at MckMama's Place where you can 'fess up!

A Dirty Job

2009-07-08T00:56:00.007-04:00

I may or may not have mentioned that I do a lot of laundry.

I may or may not have whined about it.

Do you blame me?

Not Me! Monday

2009-07-06T21:00:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not spend another weekend on a baseball field.

Nope, not me.

And certainly not my July 4th weekend.

That would be ridiculous.

The husband and I did not sit on opposite sides of the field.

Not us.

Chad never yells too loud at ballgames.

He is not a bleacher coach.

Which explains why he is not hoarse this morning.

My kids did not eat so many ice pops that they may never come down from the sugar high.

Cole did not entertain the crowd with his rendition of "Low".

And by entertaining, I do not mean singing with choreographed dance moves.

Claire did not hide from embarrassment.

Because she was certainly not the one that taught it to him.

Not her.

I am not just a tad bit excited that ball season is over.

I am not ready to finally get my summer started.

Now it is your turn...what haven't you done this week?

Moments in Left Field

2009-07-04T10:00:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th of July friends!

In celebration of the 4th and because my Internet and I kissed, made up, and are now back together... I am posting today.

This year was Cole's first t-ball season.

He was so excited to play.

He talked about it constantly.

Then we started practicing.

And the excitement dwindled a bit.

Our first game was on the hottest day of the year.

More dwindling.

Cole was in left field.

Literally.

I took 172 "action" shots.

Here is a sampling:

Action...right?

Sitting.

Standing backwards.

Picking weeds.

Picking his nose.

Picking his seat.

Standing with his glove on his head.

Yelling to me, "Mom I am swwwweaattiinngg!"

Yelling again, "Is it ovvveeerrr?"

And then the shot I didn't get.

He ran off the field, in the middle of the game, to tell me he was hot and he was pretty sure it was time for his Gatorade break.

Those were the longest 10 baseball games I have ever endured.

Then Cole got a trophy.

His first.

And he exclaimed his excitement for next season.

I. can't. wait.

Dripping With Sugar

2009-07-01T18:25:00.006-04:00

I am typing feverishly.

In hopes I can finish this before my Internet connection goes out again.

I called Suddenlink for the 1,975 time this month with my usual, "My Internet is out."

I didn't even call the Supervisor.

I wanted my call to be recorded.

I wanted to be all mad and pissy.

Because of course... I was.

I was just waiting to give it to the person that answered my call.

They answered.

I choked.

I decided to be nice and polite with a hint of Iamnotgoingtotakeitanymore.

Guess what?

Sometimes it pays to be nice.

I am back online.

And I got a credit on my account.

Who says nice girls finish last?

Not Me! Monday

2009-06-29T21:00:00.001-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I am not having Internet issues.

And I am not pointing my finger at my Internet provider.

Nope, not me.

I have not started recording each and every time it goes out.

Which is not turning into a book.

And it is not aggravating my carpal tunnel.

I am not on a first name basis with the Supervisor of Field Operations.

And I certainly do not have his cell phone number on my speed dial.

I am quite sure that if I had his number, which I do not, he would wish I didn't.

I have not called him ninety bazillion times.

I am also pretty sure bazillion is not a word.

Whatev.

I really do not need my Internet connection to last more than ten minutes.

I am superinternetwoman.

I don't have ~~addictions~~ ~~blogs~~ ~~tweets~~ email that needs to be checked.

Nope, not me.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

Mystery Solved

2009-06-24T17:09:00.003-04:00

Well here I am.

Finally.

My Internet provider thought it would be fun to redo some lines for the last 24 hours.

Which has caused me great pain and anguish.

And possibly a rash.

And obviously very limited access to my beloved computer.

And you.

So without further ado...

I give you Cole's grocery list.

It is so obvious now...right?

I thought so.

I enjoyed all of your guesses.

And yet only one of you came close.

Congratulations Kimberly!

I will be sending you a large box of chocolate bars very shortly.

Thanks to all of you for playing.

Happy Wednesday!

The Mystery Grocery List

2009-06-22T10:37:00.005-04:00

I was making my grocery list the other day.

Milk.

Juice.

Bread.

I asked the kids if they would add to it.

They happily added:

Chips.

Goldfish.

Ice Cream.

You know, the staples around here.

Then Cole brought me a list he had made.

He can't write yet so he drew me his list.

How adorable is that?

Can you guess what it is?

I know it is quite obvious, but in case there is any doubt, let me share.

Hmmmm.

What about tomorrow?

I am dying to see what you think they are.

There will be a prize for the one with the most correct answers.

Happy guessing!

Where In The World Is Wendi?

2009-06-16T09:45:00.000-04:00

I am here.

I wish I could tell you I had been whisked away to some remote, tropical island.

That my friends did not happen.

You see...my family of three computers became a family of ONE computer.

MY. COMPUTER.

And while the computer dude is busy adding more RAM, I have had to learn to share.

Have I mentioned I am not good at the sharing?

I am not.

Especially when it involves the vehicle to all my ~~news~~ ~~weather~~ ~~stock reports~~ entertainment.

Namely blogging and twittering.

Today I have announced to all that the laptop is MINE!

And MINE alone.

We will see how long my selfishness lasts.

I've Still Got It...maybe

2009-06-05T11:00:00.000-04:00

We entered the pizza establishment buzzing with loud laughter and silly giggles.

We had been seated in a secluded area of the restaurant for obvious reasons.

We found ourselves separated from the rest of the pizza population by a small partition.

The birthday girl and her friends made their way to the buffet and returned with loaded plates.

I followed.

I was just before ingesting a large mouthful of salad when a waitress from another section of the restaurant came over and sat down across from me.

"Is there a problem?", I asked.

No, she replied.

"One of my customers was wondering if you were married?"

Huh?

I can't remember if I spit the lettuce out or if I managed to choke it down.

I just sat there with my mouth gaping open.

"Are you joking?" was all that I could utter.

"No, my customer asked me to come over here and find out if you were married or not."

"Yes, I am married."

As quickly as I answered she was gone.

But wait.

I didn't ask her who was asking.

Not that it mattered of course.

But it did matter.

And I couldn't just stand up and peer over the partition.

I tried to recall the guests I saw upon out arrival.

Hmmmmmm.

There was an older gentleman walking with a cane.

The younger college guys in the corner.

And then there was that one woman with the asymmetrical haircut that.....nah.

I will never know.

I was too chicken to look over and scan the restaurant.

I wanted to bask in the moment that I still had it.

Then my Claire brought me back to reality.

"It was probably that "M" on your forehead."

"Thanks Claire, I will add Married to the list of things my wrinkle stands for!"

Not Me! Monday

2009-06-01T23:00:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday!

This blog carnival was created by MckMama.

You can head over to her blog to see what everyone else has not been doing this week.

I did not have every intention to post daily on my blog last week.

I did not fail miserably.

I do not miss my blog buddies.

And their comments.

I do not feel validated when they leave them.

Nope, not me.

When Claire asked me for a sleepover for her birthday, I did not say, "No!"

And I certainly did not say it two seconds after she asked.

I would need time to think about it.

Which of course would not take two seconds.

And when she asked me for the ~~second~~ ~~tenth~~ twentieth time I did not answer with a resounding, "No!"

She did not finally get the message.

I did not offer to take her and a few friends to dinner and a movie.

She did not take me up on the offer.

I did not spend my Friday night with giggling, talkative, oh so dramatic ten-year-old girls.

And it was not one of the easiest parties ever.

I did not get "hit on" while attending said party.

More details will not show up in a future post.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

I would love to know!

Join all the fessing up over at MckMama's place.

My Baby Girl is TEN!

2009-05-27T17:00:00.000-04:00

Don't adjust your computer monitor.

Don't check your google reader.

Yes, it really is me.

Posting three days in a row.

I told you I would be back to my old blogging self for the summer.

Just try and get rid of me.

Actually, please don't.

I am kind of fond of you, my loyal readers.

And your fabulous comments.

Now where were we?

Oh yes...today's post.

Today is the birthday of my middle child.

My only daughter.

Claire.

Whom I love and adore more than words can say.

She is ten.

She thinks she is twenty-five.

I have assured her I am not old enough to have birthed a twenty-five year old.

Most days Claire is delightful.

A breath of fresh air.

Entertaining.

And other days....well....let's just say....she's not.

This past weekend was her dance recital.

She performed beautifully.

She is a natural on stage.

Sometimes what she comes up with off stage makes us laugh.

Friday I picked up the traditional arm bouquet of flowers for my dancer.

Trying to keep her from seeing them is impossible.

The flowers came with a traditional card to be filled out with loving sentiments.

I chose not to fill it out because she would obviously know who gave the flowers to her.

Obviously.

Because I had not filled out the card...Claire decided she would be a dear and do it for me.

This is so typical of Claire.

Writing her own youdidagreatjob card.

She keeps us laughing and on our toes.

Our lives would certainly be boring without her.

Happy Birthday my little Claire Bear!

A Memorable Mother's Day

2009-05-26T09:28:00.005-04:00

Let's just pretend for the sake of pretending that this post was submitted on or about Mother's Day.

That is when I intended to post it.

But a little something called exams got in my way.

Anyhoo.

I had a wonderful Mother's Day.

Cole painted this lovely portrait of me.

You would know it was me anywhere....right?

I am sure he painted my hips that large due to the fact the blue dress obviously had a very large crinoline underneath.

Obviously.

And I rarely, if ever, wear red lipstick so I am not sure where that came from.

Hmmmm.

It has a slight "vampirish" look to it.

Maybe my Twilight obsession has gone too far.

I love it though.

And if that gift wasn't enough, my children always say the sweetest things to me.

The kind of things that would make any mother weep.

While rubbing my ~~toned~~ fluffy upper arms after lunch Cole announced that he loved my "fatness".

Awwww.

Moments later Claire asked why I had an "M" on my forehead?

I reached up thinking I had a piece of food or a sticker on my face.

I felt nothing.

I ran to a mirror.

I saw nothing unusual.

I turned around and asked where she saw the "M" she spoke of?

"Between your eyebrows where your wrinkles are...it looks like an M.

I thought you did it for Mother's Day."

Of course I did.

I spent hours pushing the furrows between my brows to look like an "M".

I am into holidays like that.

I even sported it yesterday for "M"emorial Day.

Happy very belated Mother's Day!

Losing A Little Excess Weight

2009-05-25T09:58:00.008-04:00

It is over.

Exams.

Preschool.

Being the music teacher.

Being the creative movement teacher.

End of Grade testing.

Dance.

Dance Recital.

Deep cleansing breath.

Ahhhhhh.

I have so many things I have wanted to share.

So many posts that I have composed in my head.

I will be back tomorrow with lots of sharing.

Happy Memorial Day!

Not Me! Monday

2009-05-18T18:30:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday where we can be brutally honest with each other and live to tell about it.

You can read more Not Me's! over at MckMama's.

Last weekend I did not have to take my final exams.

I was not stressed at all.

Not one little bit.

I laugh in the face of tests.

Everything that could go wrong, certainly didn't.

I never had any computer glitches.

Not me.

I did not have to take my Geography test three times.

Nope, definitely not three times.

And I was never found rocking back and forth in the fetal position crying over said test.

That would have been silly and immature.

Thank goodness that did not happen.

I do not have all three of my children playing ball on three different fields.

I am not trying to juggle three different baseball/softball schedules as well as a dance recital this week.

I am not a good juggler. (really....not. good.)

I do not need lessons.

Or quite possibly extra arms.

I am not secretly wishing for May to be over.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

Join the fun at MckMama's place.

Happy Not Me-ing!!

Sleepless in NC

2009-05-14T08:30:00.002-04:00

Dear Sleep,

Oh how I have missed you. I think of you ~~every second of every day~~ often. I long for our time together. Yet, when it comes it is far too short. Four to five hours a night just isn't working for me. I want more of you. I need more of you. Is 12 10 8 hours a night really too much to ask? I think not. Could we get together for a passionate evening of snoring and REM? Say... tonight at 7:30?

Love,
Me

* I will bring some Tylenol PM to get me in the mood.

**Apparently some of you think I am having trouble sleeping. Let me assure you I have no problem in that department. It is the getting to bed at a not-so-decent hour every night that is the problem. It is quite possibly the reason for the dark, puffy circles that now live under my eyes too.

The Power of a Flower

2009-05-07T10:00:00.000-04:00

Just when I thought I was at my breaking point.

Just when I thought I could not handle one. more. thing.

My neighbor shows up with an armful of these.

Peonies.

One of my favorite flowers.

And all is right in the world.

Not Me! Monday

2009-05-04T23:00:00.001-04:00

It's baaackkkk!

Not Me! Monday is officially back in session.

Baby Stellan is finally home and MckMama is hosting her famous Not Me! Monday again.

Shhhh.

Don't tell her I was posting every Monday any way.

I find confessing all the things I did not do is therapeutic.

And refreshing.

I couldn't part with my weekly therapy.

Or my freshness.

Let's get started...shall we?

Chase was not humiliated that his mother wrote a post about his cracked elbow.

"But you promised it wouldn't go on the blog." he said.

" I have no idea what you are talking about", I responded, "Everything goes on the blog."

He did not enjoy reading all your sweet comments.

Nope, not Chase.

He would never admit to it any way.

I did not sweep, mop, and scrub my kitchen, laundry room and half bath on Saturday.

Cole did not decide to lose his lunch 10 minutes after I was through.

And of course none of it got on any freshly cleaned and disinfected surfaces.

Not. one.

I did not have to sweep, mop, and scrub my kitchen, laundry room, and half bath again.

Who has that kind of time or energy?

Nope, not me!

I am not a little overwhelmed this week.

My schedule does not include 2 softball games, 3 baseball practices and a t-ball game.

How would I pull that off?

My schedule does not also include Scouts.

And certainly not two nights of dance.

I do not have my final exams this weekend.

Who would assign exams on Mother's Day weekend?

I do not have a women's conference to attend and salad to make.

Oh, and I do not have my Mother's Day preschool performance this Friday.

I am not the music teacher.

Which of course means I would not be in charge of the program.

And I definitely would never volunteer to be on the food committee on the same day.

That would be suicide.

And the icing on the cake?

Or the straw that might break this camel's back?

I have not been asked to speak at church on Mother's Day.

I would be smart enough to decline.

Thankyouverymuch!

If I am not around much this week...know that I will most definitely not be doing any of the aforementioned things.

It is possible however that I will be found in a padded cell wearing a white jacket.

What about you my internets?

What haven't you done this week?

Join MckMama and the confessional fun!

You will thank me later.

Say No To Crack

2009-05-01T17:00:00.000-04:00

Chase took a nasty fall on a basketball court last Friday.

It looked as if it was mostly external.

Scrapes and bruises.

Nothing a little Tylenol wouldn't fix.

Fast forward five days.

He still couldn't throw a baseball or do a push up.

The chiropractor said something about it feeling "spongey".

I don't like that word.

Especially when discussing my sons elbow.

We were worked into the Bone and Joint Office.

Which meant 3.5 hours of waiting.

And worrying.

And starving.

And whining.

But enough about me...Chase was fine.

When the doctor finally surfaced, he said Chase had a cracked elbow.

Or was it a fragmented elbow?

Anyhoo...He was fitted for a soft sling.

And then he said the toughest five words ever.

"No. sports. for. 3. weeks."

Chase almost fell off the table.

I told him it could be worse.

He could be in a hard cast for 8 weeks.

He understood.

Or so I thought.

We came home and I heard the familiar sound of a ball bouncing on the concrete.

I opened the door.

There stood Chase dribbling the ball with his left hand while his right was tied up in a sling.

He didn't think that counted as No. Sports.

I am no psychic, but I am guessing these next three weeks are going to be fun!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Not Me! Monday

2009-04-20T14:03:00.004-04:00

It is Monday again which can only mean one thing.

Not Me! Monday hosted by MckMama.

The post where I 'fess up to what I haven't done this week.

Or last.

Let's get started....shall we?

I have not avoided posting on my blog for over a week.

I would never do that.

I have addictions to my computer that would not allow it.

I have not had all three children home for the past ten days.

T. E. N.

I do not have greater appreciation for those moms that home school.

I never attempted to teach a lesson and yet I was close to insanity by the end of the week.

I did not go to sleep with visions of school starting back this morning.

And I definitely was not smiling when it did.

Nope, not me.

My baby did not turn 5 last week.

That would not be possible.

He does not already look older and sound more mature.

I did not forget to photograph the event.

I do not ever leave my camera.

It is not usually an appendage of my body.

And I certainly have never been asked if I am with the newspaper.

So...forgetting the camera is out of the question.

I did not take my daughter shopping before Easter.

I did not discover that we wear the same size shoe.

I did not start doing back hand springs through the store when I thought of ALL the shoes we could "share".

I did not have one moment of guilt for the five pair that were purchased.

I have not lived for this moment.

I am not praying her feet stay the same size forever.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

You can sign up for your own confessional at MckMama's place.

* Please don't forget to pray for little Stellan. He will be having surgery tomorrow.

The Last Birthday I Plan to Celebrate

2009-04-08T20:30:00.002-04:00

Today is my birthday.

It is the last birthday I will ever have in my thirties.

Which means it is the last time I plan to celebrate.

I intend to be 39 forever.

Next year when April 7th rolls around...I will still be 39.

Five years after that?

You guessed it...39.

So glad we cleared that up.

Last year in honor of my birthday I shared with you 38 Random Things about me.

Then I posted my 100th post and you had to endure 100 more things.

I had hoped to do something different, but I am not feeling the creativity these days.

I. am. sorry.

As if you needed to know any more...here are 39 random things about me:

1.I am a huge procrastinator.

2.Especially when it comes to packing or studying or exercising.

3.Oh, and taxes....especially taxes. Ugh!

4.I love to shop.

5. It matters not for what. Clothes, books, furniture, food, fixtures, toys, plants, shoes. I just love shopping.

6. There is one exception: swimwear

7. I. don't. enjoy. it.

8. I am considering going without swimwear this year.

9. No silly...not NEKKID! I just may have to plan my summer activities around something besides water.

10. I am not sure avoiding lakes, rivers, oceans, pools, and splash parks will go over well with my children.

11. They love the water.

12. They are part fish.

13. They do not have bathing suit issues.

14. My organizational skills are becoming non-existent.

15.In case you are wondering...yes, my spices are still alphabetized.

16.Other spaces in my home are not so together.

17. My dining room table may collapse if I put one more thing on it.

18. I have been suffering from the flu, a sinus infection, and a nasty cough for weeks.

19. All my mail, bills, the kids homework, my school work, and various sundry things have made their way to the table.

20. I close the door and pretend it is NOT there.

21. When I do go in the dining room I can feel my heart beating faster.

22. To avoid a massive heart attack- I just walk out. Refer to #1.

23. I am a college student again.

24. It is kicking my be-hind!

25. It is hard to believe two classes could add such stress.

26. Ask my family what a joy I am to live with during an exam. Never mind...don't.

27. I love to read.

28. I don't carve out enough time for reading.

29. Except for blogs....I somehow find the time for that.

30. My comments have become few and far between, but trust me, I am still reading.

31. I need to start a new book. Any suggestions for a great summer read?

32. I am getting older and there is still so much I want to do.

33. I have been to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

34. I have not been on a gondola ride in Italy.

35. I have snorkeled off the reefs in Mexico.

36. I have not bungee jumped or sky dived and I have no desire to do either.

38. I have parasailed.

39. I am done. It is over. Now where is the cake?

* Sorry...my aged mind forgot to click publish last night. This should have posted yesterday.

The Problem is NOT my weight...It IS my height!

2009-04-02T16:30:00.002-04:00

Some of you may remember back to the incredibly romantic gift I received for Valentine's Day.

That's right: Wii Fit.

My husband the romantic.

And nothing says romance like fitness.

Or scales.

Which is pretty much what the Wii Fit board looks like.

I haven't been able to use my Wii Fit until yesterday.

I wanted to.

I was afraid to.

I just wanted to have it all to myself with out the kids interrupting.

Translation: I wanted to "weigh in" when no one was looking.

I tried to get started and quickly realized this thing was complicated and I would need help.

I. had. no. clue.

So I called to my four year old.

And he walked me through it.

Stop laughing.

"Step on Mom", he cried.

"It is going to weigh you and give you your BMI."

Smarty pants.

I thanked the heaven's that he could not read yet.

Calculating....

What?

Nope, not possible.

Wii Fit actually suggested I needed to add more calories to my diet.

Huh?

It also said I was slightly underweight.

Slightly.

Me?

Not. even. possible.

So I scrolled back through some of the data and found the problem.

My children had plugged in my height as 8' 2".

Close.

I am 5' 2".

So, only off by 3 feet.

Recalculating....

Okay.

Let's just say that I am no longer considered underweight.

And my Mii looks much fluffier.

I Fought the FLU and the FLU Won!

2009-03-27T16:49:00.005-04:00

I am alive.

*cough* cough*

Barely.

*sneeze* sneeze*

I am not sure when I have been sicker.

Because I felt death was upon me...I did the unthinkable.

I went to the doctor.

It was confirmed I was sick.

It was also confirmed...I will live.

The nasty flu has taken over my body as well as a sinus infection.

I came home with 6 prescriptions.

And orders to stay in bed until I was well.

I am far from well, but staying in bed just doesn't cut it when you have three children.

I am sustaining life with Diet Coke.

I hope to be back among the living very soon!

Not Me! Monday

2009-03-23T14:30:00.000-04:00

It is that time of the week again.

The time where I confess all those things I did NOT do.

Thank goodness, right?

Because some of these confessions could be rather embarrassing.

I did NOT become the mother of a teenager this weekend.

Nope, not me.

My firstborn is NOT thirteen.

That would not be possible.

I did not cry or feel old at any moment.

Not one.

We did not throw him a party with lots of surprises.

(more details in another post)

And one of those surprises most certainly did not involve a limo.

He did not have the time of his life.

He is still not too old to hug or kiss.

By his mother of course.

I am not still pilfering through his baby books and pictures wondering where the time went.

I do not want to freeze him at the age he is right now.

I do not adore him and thank God every day he is mine.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

Care to share?

Join up over at MckMama's place.

Things Could Always Be Worse

2009-03-19T10:00:00.003-04:00

There are some things in life that should not be experienced.

The death of a loved one.

Oral Surgery.

Going to a doctors office with three children.

Really.

If you haven't experienced it...don't even try.

Get a sitter.

Save yourself from the inevitable torment that surely will come.

I tried it.

I failed.

Chase hurt his shoulder in a basketball game last week.

He has been in a lot of pain since.

We made an appointment with the orthopedic doctor.

We arrived knowing we were being "worked in".

After filling out a small book of paperwork, the receptionist smiled and said that the doctor was currently in surgery and he was approximately 3 1/2 hours behind schedule.

Then she asked if we would like to wait.

"Um, you are kidding...right?"

She grinned.

Nope, she was not kidding.

I grinned.

"Sure."

I was prepared.

I had brought a laptop, crayons, coloring books, magazines, snacks and homework.

What more could we need for the next 210 minutes?

We discovered all the electrical outlets.

We discovered there was no wireless Internet access.

We never found the remote control for the TV.

We managed to leave Cheese Nip crumbs on every surface of the waiting room.

Cole needed to go to the potty six times.

Cole cried because he couldn't get on the computer.

Clarie whined because she was bored.

Chase whimpered because his shoulder hurt.

After just 45 minutes they called us back.

They put us in a hot room.

With only home and travel magazines.

Boredom set in.

Cole climbed on everything.

Claire was thirsty and was in and out 35 times to get water.

Cole tried to take apart the models of bones sitting on the desk.

Finally the doctor arrived.

He spoke broken English.

He joked.

He examined and reexamined.

He looked at the x -rays.

After an hour and a half it was determined Chase had a partially dislocated shoulder.

Meaning a bad sprain.

It was nothing that a lot of ibuprofen wouldn't cure.

And time.

I made a follow up appointment.

I will be taking all three of my children again.

There are worse things I have discovered.

Like the possibility of waiting 3 1/2 hours in a doctors office.

Green Eggs and Toilets

2009-03-17T17:00:00.000-04:00

I try to be a good mom.

Most days I fall short.

I have good intentions.

Most of the time I forget things.

Especially holidays that are less significant than Christmas.

Like St. Patrick's Day.

Today I remembered.

My kids woke up to pancakes of the green variety.

Their eggs were also a putrid shade.

They had green candy and jelly beans on the table.

And wouldn't you know it?

Some little leprechaun turned all our toilet water green.

My kids were so excited.

Cole told everyone at preschool.

And carpool.

Who knew this one little item could bring so much joy?

In case you haven't already...go add a few drops to your dinner.

Or your toilet water.

You. are. welcome.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-11T13:51:00.002-04:00

"P" is for pajamas, pancakes, and playing.

What is not to love about the letter P?

Not Me! Monday

2009-03-09T15:00:00.002-04:00

Here we are once again at the beginning of a new week.

It is time to share with you all the things I did NOT do.

That's right...it is time for Not me! Monday.

I did not spend the majority of my week preparing for the weekend.

I did not clean, organize, shop and cook so my family would survive my absence.

I did not spend the other part of my week at a basketball court.

I do not enjoy watching Chase play basketball.

Nope, not me!

I did not leave on Friday for a girls weekend at the beach.

I would never do that.

My parents are not the best in the world for keeping the kids.

The weather was not perfect.

I did not scrapbook, rest, eat, talk, laugh, or walk on the beach this weekend.

Did I mention eat?

I did not almost wet my pants fifty different times from laughing.

I did not get teased and picked on for my blogging and twittering addictions.

I never threatened to "blog about that" or "tweet about that".

Nope, not once.

I did not need this weekend for my sanity.

It did not help.

I am not thrilled to be home and I do not feel like a new woman.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

Join in the fun at Mckmama's place.

Forget Chicken Soup, Bring on the Candy!

2009-02-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

We are still experiencing the plague around here.

I am not sure when it will end.

I have not left my house but once since Thursday night.

I have no idea if my car will still start.

A sweet friend brought us some much needed Coke yesterday.

She pulled up, lovingly placed them on my back steps, and ran back to her car.

She didn't even take the time to retrieve the cash I left her in the door.

I think she was afraid she might catch it.

I would be scared too.

A few minutes later my doorbell rang.

I thought my friend changed her mind and was going to just chance it and visit.

No, it was another familiar face.

Nana.

And she was holding something in her outstretched hands.

Visions of chicken soup and homemade bread danced in my head.

I cracked the door.

Yes? I am not sure you want to come in, we have the plague."

Making her way in anyway she said, " Yes I heard that you have all been sick. I brought you a little something"

I waited with eager anticipation at what was in the bag.

She was kidding right?

Candy bars?

Maybe she misunderstood.

Maybe she missed the part about the vomit and uncontrollable diarrhea.

Maybe just maybe she knew something about the medicinal uses of candy bars.

And then she asked to use my bathroom.

What?

I would probably go to ANY bathroom in town except mine.

I can't even imagine the germs multiplying in there.

I came *this* close to telling her to just use the urinal on my front steps.

I behaved.

I opened the door to the bathroom and let her in.

I guess when she has the plague next week I will know exactly what to take her to make it better.

Not Me! Monday

2009-02-23T20:53:00.006-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

We are at the beginning of another week.

And you know what that means.

Another week to share with you all the things I have NOT done.

So I shall.

Cole did NOT wake up Friday morning throwing up.

That would have been a very bad start to my day.

A fever and upset stomach did NOT soon follow.

Claire did NOT come home from a party early on Saturday morning.

And it had nothing to do with a headache and chills.

I did NOT take her temperature only to find she too had fever.

Nope, NOT me.

And I certainly did NOT start feeling bad myself later that day.

I did NOT have a huge Geography online exam that had to be taken Saturday night.

And I did NOT take it while running fever and wrapped in blankets.

Which of course is never good.

I did NOT try all day Sunday to nap or rest.

No one else in my house was interested in that plan.

Cole did NOT jump on me and whine most of the day.

I did NOT almost lose my patience.

NOT once.

I most certainly did NOT lock myself in my room later so that I could watch the Oscar's.

I did NOT participate in an Oscar Twitter Party.

Which did NOT begin at the red carpet and end with the Best Film.

And that certainly would never have taken over 15 hours.

I would NOT exaggerate.

I did NOT fully intend to share my thoughts on the Oscars.

This post is NOT already too long.

I will not share tomorrow.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

Go join in the fun at MckMama's!

Because I Can

2009-02-22T16:03:00.002-05:00

Has it always been a lifelong dream of yours to write upside down?

¡ǝnɹʇ ǝɯoɔ sɐɥ ɯɐǝɹp ɹnoʎ

Want to know how?

¡ǝɹǝɥ ʞɔılɔ

¡¡¡unɟ ǝʌɐɥ

And That's What It's All About

2009-02-18T22:30:00.001-05:00

Friday was a huge day at the preschool.

It was the Valentine's Day/ Dad's Day program.

Where songs would be sung and cupcakes devoured.

Where the hokey-pokey was danced and art work was revealed.

Doesn't he look just like this guy?

Yeah....I thought so.

Look at the size of those hands.

The better to pull up trees with my dear.

What?

At the bottom of Cole's drawing his teacher wrote what she thought Cole said his favorite thing to do with his dad was.

And of course that would be "pulling up trees".

I am not sure I have ever seen my husband pull up a shrub much less a tree.

When I asked Cole what he told his teacher, his reply was "playing on the Wii".

Pulling up trees...Playing on the Wii.

Yeah...totally the same thing!

She Wasn't Switched At Birth After All

2009-02-17T13:42:00.004-05:00

I love my Claire.

I adore her in fact.

But there have been quite a few times when I have questioned if I brought home the right baby from the hospital.

She looks exactly like her father.

Exactly.

Sometimes it is scary how much she looks like him.

I often tease that it is like seeing Chad in a dress.

Which could be really scary!

She is quite the drama queen.

I feel certain that she acquired that lovely trait from ~~my mother~~ me.

So there are a few things about her that would assure me that she is in fact my daughter.

But there are also a few things that have made me question it.

She is probably the messiest little girl I know.

I don't mean just a little untidy.

I don't mean oops, her clothes are not hung according to color and length.

I mean full blown F5 tornado touched down in her room messy.

It is enough to drive this mama c-r-a-z-y!

I probably on average clean, straighten, organize, and pick up her room 4 times per week.

Just for my sanity.

It doesn't bother her at all.

She kicks her shoes off wherever.

She drops her back pack wherever.

She leaves her wet towel...where else?

On the floor.

Sometimes I think she is completely unaware of her surroundings.

But Friday I received a call from my messy little girl that let me know without any doubt she is mine.

I had asked her to call and let me know if all the party food that had been assigned was in fact at the school.

I always like to know ahead so I can run out and get anything that might have been forgotten.

She called and assured me that everything was there, but I may want to pick up some PLAIN potato chips.

"But, I thought you said everything was there?", I inquired.

"It is Mom, but someone brought cheese doodles instead of chips and I am not sure that is appropriate for a Valentine's Day party. Orange is not going to look good on those pretty plates"

I didn't know whether to laugh or run to the school and kiss her.

Don't judge...but I promise that sounds exactly like something I would say.

Exactly.

She really does belong to me!

Not Me! Monday

2009-02-16T14:45:00.000-05:00

The weeks just seem to fly right by.

And once again we are at the start of another.

I hope you are joining me for this weeks edition of Not Me! Monday in which I will share with you all the things I did not do.

I did not have a meeting at church on Wednesday afternoon.

I did not have Chase ready for his basketball game, Claire ready for dance and Cole well, just ready.

I did not have dinner in the crock pot.

I certainly did not feel like I had it all together and go to my meeting 20 minutes early.

I did not take my laptop and geography book in hopes of doing some homework.

I did not get to church, get all situated to work and remember I had forgotten to lock my suburban.

I did not run outside to lock it.

Upon locking the car I certainly did not realize that I had run out with only my car keys.

Meaning the church keys and my cell phone were inside.

I did not laugh at myself for trying to be prepared and still finding a way to screw up.

Nope, not me.

I did not plop on the curb and wait patiently until someone showed up to let me in.

And that would not have been 20 minutes later.

I did not have a wonderful Valentine's Day weekend with my family.

I did not over indulge in too much chocolate.

I definitely did not eat too many of these.

I know better.

My sweet husband did not buy me the most romantic of gifts.

He did not wrap it beautifully.

I did not know he had talent in the wrapping department.

I do not think he has been holding out on me.

The romantic gift?

A WiiFit.

I know.

Nothing says I love you like a fitness program.

I did not take it as "Getyourlazybuttoffthecomputeralready".

My husband would not have meant it that way.

I have not mentioned like 100 times I would like one.

My husband does not usually pay attention.

Or listen.

So, really he should get lots of credit for that.

He did not tell me he went to over 30 stores to find my gift.

I, of course, did not think he might be exaggerating.

Just a little.

I hope that you will join me at MckMama's place and tell us what you did not do this week.

I would love to hear about it.

Because My Love For You Knows No Bounds...

2009-02-13T13:00:00.001-05:00

Today I thought I would deviate from the non-sense that usually goes on here and do some sharing.

I am going to share with you one of my favorite holiday recipes.

Valentine Pretzels.

Or Christmas Pretzels.

Or St. Patrick's Day Pretzels.

Or Cousin Vinny got a new tattoo pretzels.

Whatever your celebratory event is...take along a few of these.

It is sure to please.

It is the perfect marriage of sweet and salty.

Here is what you will need:

Waffle Pretzels

White Almond Bark

MnM's (I used the Cupid mix for Valentine's Day)

First begin melting the almond bark.

Melt it slowly over low heat.

Which also means: DO. NOT. OVERCOOK.

While your chocolate is melting, begin assembling your pretzels on a baking sheet.

Be sure they are in nice straight rows and evenly spaced.

Okay... that is only if you are me.

Moving right along.

Next, you are going to drop a little chocolate on each pretzel.

Like this.

Well, maybe not like the one in the top left corner.

Some one got just a little carried away with the chocolate dropping.

Finally grab your bowl ala MnM's and gingerly place one on each chocolate topped pretzel.

Like this.

It is best to work with about ten at the time so the chocolate doesn't harden before you have time to get the MnM on it.

Go find something to do for about 10 minutes and when you return...

Deliciousness.

I dare you to stop at one.

Go on.

Try it.

I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day!!!

Not Me! Monday

2009-02-09T17:00:00.002-05:00

Mondays seem to come faster and faster.

Or is that just me?

We all know what Monday brings.

School, a new work week, and MckMama's Not Me! Monday post.

I hope you are as excited as I am to tell you what in fact I have NOT done.

Shall we?

This past week did NOT seem unusually busy to me.

I never felt the stress.

Not. once.

And I did NOT ever find myself rocking back and forth in the fetal position in a corner.

Thank heavens!

Friday night did not find me with only one child at home.

I did not keep looking at the phone in hopes that someone would call and take the third.

I would never wish that.

Chad did NOT get huge brownie points for bringing home Mexican food for dinner.

He did NOT get a few more for renting a good movie.

I did NOT have to be asked more than three times to close the lid to my computer.

That would have been silly.

Chad did NOT mention that he did NOT want to share me with my friends on my computer.

I most certainly did NOT laugh.

We did not watch Fireproof.

I did not enjoy it immensely.

The storyline.

The acting of course did NOT need improvement.

My 4 year old did not reenact the "tomato juice" scene to a tee.

He also did not reenact the "brother from another mother" scene perfectly.

I did not laugh uncontrollably.

I did not think Cole did a far better acting job.

I did NOT have 3 computer tests Saturday night.

Because remember....I am NOT going back to school.

I did not make a 100, a 98, and an 18.

No....definitely NOT an 18!

Who makes an 18?

Certainly NOT me!

Especially when only 2 problems were missed.

I mean what kind of grading scale would that be?

I have definitely NOT tried to reach my professor for answers.

I have not lost 15 followers in the last month.

Who would quit following someone who has quit posting?

I mean...really!

I am trying to learn to juggle better so I can find more time for you, my friends in my computer.

Please don't give up on me yet!

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

Join us at MckMama's place and fess up!

My Many Needs

2009-02-06T18:30:00.004-05:00

I saw this on her blog and her blog.

I am nothing if not a follower.

Here is what you do.

Just go to google and type in your first name followed by the word needs.

Google will provide the rest.

Wendi needs...

1. to wait a few years to be a successful part of the WWE. Um, I had to google WWE to see what it even was. So glad I had no idea. It is World Wrestling Entertainment. Can't you just see me in the ring? I think we can all wait a few years for that!

2. to return to work. return to work? Are you kidding me? I work harder and longer at this mom gig than any job I have ever had. But sure...it would be nice to get paid for it!

3. alcohol freedom. Did someone slip something in my Crystal Light, because I am pretty sure that is a non-alcoholic beverage.

4. a new tattoo. I have aversions to needles and pain. No thanks.

5. a brain massage. Seriously, if it will help with my horrible memory...where do I sign up?

6. special needs toys. Just what are you trying to say here?

7. advice. Definitely. Currently I need advice on what to do with my hair? Cut it? Color it? Grow it? Layer it? Shave it all off and start over? All advice welcome.

8. a virtual hug. A hug is always needed and if it can't be in person...virtual is the next best thing!

9. to get it all together. I have been trying to do this for years. It's bound to happen one of these days!

10. The Wendi Plan. You betcha...now tell me what that plan was again?

I kept scrolling and looky what else I need:

11. a babysitter. Every other weekend please! Oh, and I need her to be FREE!

12. computer education. Google is psychic! I am taking an online computer course right now. I do hope it educates me!

13. the money. Especially since the money tree I planted in the back yard still hasn't taken root.

Gimme a "C"!!!

2009-02-03T13:11:00.009-05:00

~~Last week~~ Last month Elaine over at The Miss Elaine~ous Life was passing out letters.

No, not the kind that come in your mailbox.

The kind in your ABC's.

Or your alphabet soup.

And if you were lucky enough to receive one, you were to make a list of ten of your favorite things that begin with that character.

After much begging and pleading, Elaine finally bestowed upon me a letter.

"C"

And I jumped up and down and burst into song.

"C is for cookie that's good enough for me..."

How ever did Miss Elaine know of my love for all things "C"?

In no particular order, my list of favorite "C" things:

I met, fell in love with and married a boy whose name starts with a "C".

1. Chad

There is plenty I could say here, but due to time constraints, let's just say I do not deserve him.

~~All of the other crazy people in my life~~ My children also have "C" names.

2. Chase

3. Claire

4. Cole

See, I told you I love this letter.

I still have six more to share.

5. Cooking

I really do love to cook. I am not saying that I am great at it, but I love to be in the kitchen.

I even have a recipe blog Because Wendi Cooks Too!

I have started adding recipes to the site as I can remember to take photos.

Go. Browse around. Find something you like and make it for your family tonight.

6. Computers

Really...did I even need to tell you this?

I have already admitted my addiction.

The only thing that needs to be added is that my addictions may possibly have worsened.

My dear, sweet, husband surprised me last week with a new laptop.

I am head-over-heels in love with it.

7. Chocolate

Not even just the dark, good for you kind.

All of it.

Dark, milk chocolate, nuts and raisins drenched in it, white, cheap, expensive.

Just give it to me.

8. Coke

Of the diet variety.

I swore off all soft drinks a year and a half ago.

I didn't have any desire to drink it any more.

Until Thanksgiving.

I have no idea what happened, but I am guzzling Diet Coke again.

Why must it be so good?

9. Carrot Cake

Not just any carrot cake.

My mothers carrot cake.

I will have to post the recipe for all to share.

It is so incredibly delicious.

Your taste buds will thank you for weeks.

10. Cleaning and Conquering Clutter

You knew I couldn't write a post without allowing some of my OCD to come through.

I know admitting I enjoy cleaning and labeling could get me a lot of hate mail and nasty comments.

Please. be. gentle.

I don't mean I get all excited over scrubbing the toilet.

That I do not.

I just love the satisfaction it brings me when a closet, room, drawer, or shelf is clean and orderly.

I love being able to find something in an instant.

I love the pleasure I feel when labels are straight and facing out.

And ABC order is a given...right?

So there you have it.

My favorite "C" things.

What about you?

Would you like a letter?

I will gladly assign you one.

Just leave me a comment letting me know.

C'mon I promise it will be fun and painless!

* I need to add photos, but they are on my other computer. Check back later for photos.

It is nice to feel needed

2009-01-28T22:04:00.004-05:00

I love to feel needed.

Especially by my children.

I love it when only my kisses will make their boo boos all better.

I love when it is me they want to draw comfort from during a thunderstorm.

But this?

Not. so. much.

For some reason I am the only one they want to do this.

I know.

I have tested my theory.

Time.

And time again.

Given the chance to do it themselves....

they choose me

every. single. time.

Isn't it nice to feel needed?

Reason #479

2009-01-26T12:18:00.004-05:00

Reason #479 for my absence last week.

It snowed.

I know many of you are thinking....big deal.

Who cares.

What is a little snow?

I live in NC.

We don't see much of the white stuff around here.

Remember it was 70 degrees on Christmas day.

Snow paralyzes us southerners.

We don't know how to get around in it.

Businesses shut down.

Schools close.

We aren't prepared with snow tires or snow suits.

They are never needed.

Even when the forecasters were predicting the eminent arrival of snow, I did not believe.

I laughed.

And the snow showed me.

I was paralyzed.

I couldn't go anywhere.

Businesses were closed.

The kids were out of school.

We played and drank hot chocolate.

And I am finally resurfacing.

Building Snowmen and Growing Feet

2009-01-26T12:16:00.007-05:00

Trying to build the perfect snowman with uncooperative snow.

Um....someone needs to be taught Snowman Nose Placement 101.

Hey, when did Chase's feet get so big?

Not Me! Monday

2009-01-19T16:00:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It is hard to believe that it is Monday again.

And that can only mean one thing.

That's right...Not Me! Monday.

I know.

I am excited too.

I did not enter my second week as a Iamgoingbacktocollege student.

And I most certainly have not felt overwhelmed.

Nope, not me.

I did not get the wrong book for my computer course.

And it definitely did not take me almost a week to figure it out.

The correct book did not set me back $151.00 .

And it did not take me ~~minutes~~ ~~hours~~ a day and a half to figure out the software to complete my assignment.

I did not feel like a complete idiot.

I did not finally get the last of my Christmas decorations in the attic.

I did not leave up this.

Because it just doesn't seem right to take them down.

I have not enjoyed looking at those Christmas cards every. single. day.

My children did not fight and argue so much yesterday that I threatened to make them clean the house if they didn't stop.

Guess who did not stop?

I also did not ask Chase's friend to pray for his soul yesterday.

That would not have been nice.

I did not keep my word and make them clean today.

My children did not learn how to clean baseboards and chair rail.

They did not learn the fine art of loading the dishwasher.

Or unloading.

They did not have to vacuum or sweep.

Not a mirror did they Windex.

Not one child had to lift a finger.

And I am not patting myself on the back.

Just a little.

Cole did not need me to wipe his back side a few minutes ago.

And when I didn't run to his aide immediately...he definitely did not ask me to turn on my listening ears.

I did not fall to the floor in uncontrollable laughter.

What's that?

I know I don't hear my children fighting...there is definitely no more cleaning that needs to be done around here!

What about you?

Are there things you haven't done this week?

You can share all of them at MckMama's place.

Go on.

You know you want to!

The part where I forgot my Anniversary!

2009-01-16T16:00:00.001-05:00

Tuesday was my anniversary.

It came.

It went.

Without a card.

Without flowers.

Without a romantic dinner.

And it just goes without saying...without gifts.

How does one forget their anniversary?

A day which should always be remembered.

I am not sure how, but I did.

I feel so bad.

However can I make it up?

I guess I will just profess my undying love right here and now.

I love you!

More today than one year ago.

Because of you I have friends all over the world.

Because of you I have found a piece of me that was missing.

Because of you I do not have to pay a therapist.

Because of you I have addictions.

Because of you I sometimes forget to fix dinner.

Because of you I stay up way too late.

But...you are worth it!

I do love you my little blog!

Happy Blogaversary!!!(albeit a little late)

Calendar Winner Announced

2009-01-13T15:27:00.005-05:00

Drum roll please...

And the winner of my Mom's Plan It Calendar contest is....

Yes, I used Mr. Random, but forgot to paste the number here before I closed the window. You will just have to take my word for it. It was number 10.

Elaine of The Miss Elaine~ous Life

Elaine A. said...
Oooh, gimme, gimme! I could totally use this! Love the stickers!

Congratulations Elaine!!!

Please email me your mailing address, social security number, banking account numbers, and your blood type.

becausewendisaidso (at) gmail (dot) com

I will get the calendar in the mail to you tomorrow!

You need it!

Not Me! Monday

2009-01-12T16:00:00.000-05:00

Well my Internets, it is that time of the week again.

You guessed it.

That special time when I gather all of you around me and share the things I did NOT do.

Shall we begin?

Let's.

After confessing last week that I did not still have out some of my Christmas decorations... I must confess that I did.

My dining room table was chocked full of ribbon, ornaments, strands of lights, and Christmas serving pieces.

I did not procrastinate another week.

And my dining room definitely does not still look the same exact way.

The table is always cleared, clean and ready for dinner guests at any given moment.

I pray I will not be struck by lightning for that last statement.

My sweet husband did not offer to help me with my 550 loads of laundry.

And I certainly did not decline his help or beg him not too.

That would have been unkind and could lead to hurt feelings.

I am not over-the-top picky about my laundry.

And I would never think that there is no one except my mother I would let within 100 feet of it.

I did not come home to an excited husband who announced he had done all 550 loads in 2 hours.

I did not have panic attacks.

I did not open the dryer to find all towels, both white and chocolate brown drying together.

Nope, not me.

And the panic attacks that of course I did not have did not intensify.

Because I certainly did not find any white fuzz on the chocolate towels or any chocolate fuzz on the white.

It really is fine to mix them all together.

Delicates, whites, darks, towels.

It makes no difference to me.

I do not freak out over such petty little things.

I am always cool under pressure.

I did not decide to go back to college last week.

I am much too old.

And I definitely did not register for two online classes.

Because I am busy enough.

Thankyouverymuch.

I am not excited, not one little bit, that one of the classes I am not taking is Intro to Computers.

I do not like computers you know.

And I do not have any addictions to them.

That is all.

Surely there are things you have not done this week.

Please join us at MckMama's and tell us all about them.

You just might need this! (a giveaway)

2009-01-10T10:00:00.000-05:00

Every now and then a product comes into my life and I am forever changed.

Remember last summer when I professed my undying love for the

Ped Egg?

Remember how I convinced you all to try it and I even gave one away in a contest?

I can still hear my feet squeal with delight when they see the Ped Egg come out of the drawer?

But you didn't want to relive that post did you?

You came here to learn of another of my favorite products.

Is it a new mascara?

Maybe a cellulite remover?

No such luck.

But I will take your recommendations.

I want to share with you my calendar.

I know what you are thinking.

A calendar?

You must be kidding.

A calendar is a calendar.

Not true my friends.

Especially when you have a busy family of five like me.

I have to know my schedule at all times.

I know that lots of you could not do without your ~~CrackBerrys~~ BlackBerrys and iPhones.

And you are free to still use those.

But.

I highly recommend this calendar to keep your family organized.

And we all know how much I love that!

Mom's Plan It!

It comes with over 400 little stickers to cutesy up your calendar.

Sometimes I can just glance at the stickers and know what the day holds.

No...there is not one of a straight jacket.

I looked.

The other thing that makes me happy is the 5 columns.

One for each member of my family.

I no longer have to cram every ones schedule into one little block.

Now if your name is Kate Gossling I am not sure what to tell you.

Except maybe go buy two calendars.

If you have a smaller family, well then, you have more lines to work with.

The point is...if you are a Mom, and you have plans and events to be scheduled, you need this calendar.

You can go buy one here.

Or, you can simply leave me a comment telling me why you need a

Mom's Plan It!

and I will grant one of you your wish.

Contest ends Monday, January 12, 2009.

I will announce the winner on Tuesday.

Good luck!

Not Me! Monday

2009-01-06T13:25:00.001-05:00

Oh how I look forward to Mondays.

I look forward to them because

a. the kids go back to school.

b. everyone puts up a new post on their blog.

c. I get to participate in Not Me! Monday with MckMama and tell you all the things I did NOT do!

Shall we get started?

I did not just post my Not Me! Monday on Tuesday.

I know what day it is.

Let's just pretend mmmkay?

I did not stay home (again) for New Year's Eve this year.

I did not hang out with the family in my PJ's.

I also did not hang out with my pretend friends on the computer.

I did not participate in any Wii games that would cause me to lose to a four-year-old.

Especially if it was by a very large margin.

And I did not pretend to let him win so that I would not look quite so pathetic.

I did not fall asleep just before the ball dropped.

And my family did not jump on me at the stroke of midnight to make sure I knew the new year had arrived.

I was not already well aware due to the inconsiderate neighbors setting off illegal fireworks.

I did not utter any silent prayers that their eyebrows would be singed off.

I would never wish harm upon any one.

I did not want to retract my resolution post about ten times this week.

I have not already broken half of them.

Nope, not me.

I do not still have Christmas decorations all over the dining room table.

I would never have that stuff still sitting out two weeks after Christmas.

And I certainly would not have the spotlights still on the front lawn.

You know me better than that.

I did not listen to Cole go potty last night only to hear ... nothing.

I did not spring from my bed to find a very large puddle beside the toilet.

Thank goodness that did not happen.

Because then I would have to clean and disinfect in the middle of the night.

And I don't do night time cleanings.

Ever.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

Check out what everyone else didn't do at MckMama's place.

Same Goals...Different Year

2009-01-01T17:00:00.002-05:00

Is it really possible that 2008 is gone?

It seems like yesterday we celebrated its arrival.

As with any new year, I make resolutions.

And I try to keep them.

At least the first month.

So I give you the resolutions that will probably be forgotten in 30 days.

1. Lose weight.
I know I say this every year. I start programs and quit. I start going to the gym and quit. But this is the year I stick. I mean it. I am tired of the "fluffy" look. It is so last year. I want to hear someone say,"Wendi, what are you doing? You really should eat something!" I just want someone to notice my bone structure...not the padding.

2.Exercise more.
I don't just mean for the weight loss, but for my health.
I need to be able to play a game on the Wii without panting or causing my heart to beat at an unusually rapid pace.

3. Scream less.
I am not sure when I became a screamer. I think it was about the time my children stopped listening. I try the quiet inside voice.I try the sing-song approach. None of that works. Then I start getting loud and before I know it my neighbors know who wrote all over the walls with a sharpie.

4.Spend more quality time with my kids.
Not time loading the dishwasher together. Not time organizing their closet together. Not even time vacuuming under the sofa together. I don't want their only memory of me to be that of cleaning and alphabetizing.

5.Get more rest.
This has been on my list for the last 12 years. But this is the year...right? This is the year I get to reclaim my bed. This is the year I don't have to share it with more than one person. This is the year that I don't wake up with little toes in my face.

6.Read more.
I love to read. I would immerse myself in books frequently before I had children. After children, not. so. much. I start books. And sometimes I finish them. But I am going to carve out more time for reading. I may even join a book club.

7. Become a better multi-tasker.
I can do a lot of things well. I don't do a lot of things at one time well. If I have too much to my plate, things slide and don't get done. Basically I stink at multi-tasking. I am going to work on this problem. Why shouldn't I be able to bake a cake while helping with a math problem, while driving to dance, while planning a party, while wiping a nose, while sweeping my floor? I. can. do. it.

8.Blog more.
I know. *gasp* Don't judge. Let me explain. Blogging is my therapy. Only it is cheaper. I can't even explain to non-bloggers what it does for me. I have let my blog posts and comments go during this Christmas season. I have missed it more than you know. It is my form of Prozac and I am not in a happy place when I don't have it. I guess I need to carve out a time for the computer too.

9.Date more.
No silly, not other people. My husband. We always say at the beginning of every year we are going to schedule date nights every month. We do great in January. And then the busy gets us. And we forget. And time goes by. Not this year. We are going out more sans children.

So there you have it.

My January is already looking to be quite busy.

With all the dieting, exercising, talking quietly, spending time with the kids, reading, multi-tasking, blogging, and dating I hope I find time for the resting.

What about you?

What are you resolving to do this ~~month~~ year?

Happy New Year!!!

Not Me! Monday

2008-12-29T23:40:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it is Monday again.

And I have once again been absent from Blogville.

My apologies to all my loyal readers.

I promise to resume my regular ~~ramblings~~ postings soon.

Because it is Monday...that can only mean one thing... Not Me! Monday.

Shall we get started?

I did not cook and bake way too much last week.

I did not taste one morsel of any of it.

Because that would just be irresponsible.

And put inches on my waistline.

So I certainly did not partake.

I did not shop entirely too much.

I did not go a little overboard on the shopping this year.

Especially considering the economy and our job stability.

I did not tell my husband that I was just trying to help stimulate the economy as a way to justify my spending.

And I most definitely did not use that line more than once.

I was not up until 3am wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve.

And I did not ~~beg~~ ~~grovel~~ ~~trick~~ ask my brother, who has no children, to help.

He did not witness my OCD issues at their finest.

I did not tell him how to wrap or that "Santa" presents must be wrapped in "Santa" paper.

He did not laugh or make fun of me once.

My husband did not try to put three gifts in one box to ~~be lazy~~ cut down on the wrapping.

And I did not throw a fit, pout and re wrap.

Because opening three gifts is better than one....right?

My 12-year-old did not hear his father and his friend delivering his ping-pong table at 11pm.

And he would never peek out the window to make sure.

And he would certainly never, ever, wake up his sister to tell her what he saw.

Because that would be mean.

And older brotherish.

And spoil Christmas for her.

And me.

Thank goodness that did not happen.

My parents were sick and could not make it a few days early to help with ~~controlling my stress~~ ~~restricting my food consumption~~ cooking, baking, shopping, watching the children.

I was saddened by their absence.

Thank goodness I did not need any help or extra hands.

I always have it together.*ahem*

Moving right along.

I was not the slightest bit disappointed that it took 3.5 seconds for all the presents to be unwrapped Christmas morning.

Considering it took me 5.3 hours to wrap them.

Nope, not me.

I enjoyed it.

And the smiles on their faces let me know that all the stress and chaos of the season was worth it.

So, what haven't you done this week?

Why don't you join us at MckMama's and tell us all about it?

You will be glad you did!

I really do hope that each of you had a wonderful Christmas.

I hope that you were able to enjoy it with the ones you love.

I hope you ate, and laughed, and hugged.

A lot.

I hope it was Merry!!!

Not Me! Monday

2008-12-22T23:30:00.000-05:00

It is that time of the week again for another installment of Not Me! Monday.

I have come to look forward to this day in which I admit all the many things I have not done!

This week I have not threatened that Santa may not come to our home.

I did not utter the words, "I am giving away all your presents...if you get any!"

And my kids did not look at me as though I had three heads.

I have not lost my patience with my kids this week.

Not even once.

I have not had to replace the ornaments on our tree 1,000 times.

And I have not had to place gifts back under the tree 1,000 more.

Cole is not driving me crazy taking ornaments on and off the tree.

He has not tried to "shake" anything breakable.

I did not walk in the living room to find my kids playing "football" with Elfie.

And Elfie has not lost his hat.

My children would never do that.

Thank goodness!

While finishing some last minute shopping early this morning, I did not leave the house with my sweater wrong-side out.

Nope, not me!

And when passing a mirror I did not think I had tape on my side....
only to find out it was a tag.

That would have been so embarrassing.

I was not so vain that I ducked into the ladies room to right-side the sweater.

I did not then walk through the store with it on backwards.

The vanity did not set in again and send me to the ladies room to finally get it right.

I am sure no one noticed.

I did not utter a silent prayer that those early morning shoppers did not come shopping with a camera.

And that none of them have a blog!

What about you?

What haven't YOU done this week?

Click here for more Not me! Mondays.

Thanks MckMama for hosting this event that I don't enjoy each week!!!

Tis the Season

2008-12-17T18:30:00.000-05:00

Tis the season.

Fa la la la la!

POW!

POW!

That is right...it is hunting season around here.

My favorite time of year!

*insert lots of sarcasm*

As I may or may not have expressed before... I am not outdoorsy.

Hunting in the woods would be considered outdoorsy.

Therefore, not. my. thing.

It is my husbands thing.

I don't get it.

He leaves the house at the crack of too early.

He is dressed from head to toe in camouflage.

Except the bright orange hat atop his head.

Which looks completely ridiculous.

And he masks his scent with IcannotbelieveIamgoingtowritethis...

Deer urine.

Ugh!

He shimmy's up a spindly tree and sits in a tree stand 40,000 feet in the air.

Just so he can pop some unsuspecting prey.

What is the fun in that?

I think he should make the game a bit more fair.

He should dress from head to toe in Blaze Orange.

He should stand out in the open.

And he should mask his scent with oh, I don't know...Bacon?

Then let the games begin.

I really don't wish harm upon my husband.

I don't want to see him injured or maimed.

But I also hate the thought of the poor little creatures of the forest being taken out.

Especially by my husband.

I love that my computer addictions have not caused one animal to suffer.

Not. one.

I have never had to hide behind the computer screen wearing camo.

And the best part...I have never, ever worn urine.

At least not intentionally.

Not Me! Monday

2008-12-15T16:30:00.000-05:00

Well, it's that time of the week again.

The time where I share with you all the things I certainly have NOT done.

Please bear with me as there was a lot of NOT doing this week!

I have Not been a slacker blogger.

I have definitely Not failed to visit even one blog last week.

And I most certainly did Not run out of time in my day to write even one post.

Pathetic I know.

I am not dying to know how you all are.

I am not wringing my hands and tapping my foot with eager anticipation of "catching up" with you all.

Excitement is not written all over my face.

I have not set aside my evening of party planning, baking, and card writing to read blogs.

Nope, not me!

I am not enjoying this busy season.

I am not enjoying the lights.

And the music.

And the spirit of it all.

I most assuredly am not enjoying the shopping.

Not. one. bit.

I have not witnessed my Christmas tree fall to the floor.

And I definitely did not see that happen twice.

I have not had to replace various strands of lights.

I have also not had to rearrange ornaments when they all mysteriously moved to the eye level of one four-year-old.

I have not waited until 10 days before Christmas to decide on my Christmas cards.

Who would do such a thing?

Certainly, not her.

She dreamed of hers this summer.

And it is fabulous.

I did not think of mine in the shower this morning.

And it really is NOT fabulous.

I have Not forgotten about our dear Elfie this week.

He has never moved five minutes before the kids got up.

And he never appeared in a different location two hours after they awoke.

Because the kids would have figured that out.

And I would be "caught"!

What about you?

What have you NOT done this week?

Join me for Not Me! Monday and share.

The Elf on the Shelf

2008-12-08T16:00:00.002-05:00

Way back in May, McMommy wrote a post about The Elf on the Shelf.

It was love at first sight.

There was just something about that little ~~creepy looking~~ ~~footless~~ cute elf.

I knew I had to have one.

Then I forgot all about it because it was May and all I had on my mind at the time was end-of-school parties.

And vacation.

And the pool.

I digress.

McMommy recently wrote a reminder post about The Elf on the Shelf.

I am nothing if not forgetful.

And a follower.

And so with that gentle reminder I searched high and low for my own Elfie.

Today our eyes met while I was drooling over a Vera Bradley bag in Hallmark.

There he was.

In a box.

Ready for me to take him home.

So I did.

Have you heard about The Elf on the Shelf?

It is such a cute idea.

You just purchase the box that includes the hardback book and the Elf.

You read the book to your family.

In the story it tells how Santa can not be everywhere to check on the boys and girls so he sends his elves.

They keep an eye on everyone during the day.

Then each night the elves "fly" back to Santa and let him know who has been naughty and who has been nice.

You place the elf somewhere in your home and the next morning the elf is in a different spot.

The kids will run around to find where the Elf is each morning.

Sounds fun...right?

I just hope I remember to move him.

I am not so good at the remembering you know.

Maybe McMommy will send me a reminder email to move him each night. *wink*

Music In The Lobby

2008-12-05T13:11:00.005-05:00

This morning was like any other.

It started out well.

Twenty-one four year old children arrived at school wearing their finest holiday attire.

They were buzzing with excitement.

They were going to perform in a Christmas Program hosted by the Council on Aging.

They had each made a Santa hat out of construction paper.

Complete with cotton trim and possibly way too much glue.

They all looked quite festive.

Transportation had been arranged to get all the children to the hotel in a timely manner.

It took careful planning but everyone arrived safe and sound.

Upon entering the lobby, you could hear the excitement of the children.

They eagerly anticipated their turn "on stage".

Imagine our surprise when we were told that the program had been moved to a different day entirely.

We had prepared for an event that would not happen.

We had dressed up unnecessarily.

Parents took off work for no reason at all.

All because a simple phone call was never made.

Communication was forgotten.

Thank goodness our children will never know what might have been.

Instead we lined them up in the foyer.

The pianist hummed the tune and I, the music teacher, led those sweet children in Christmas music.

They sang their little hearts out to seven songs of the season.

The audience consisted only of parents, employees of the hotel, and a few overnight guests.

They clapped and cheered as if there were hundreds.

The children were so proud.

They smiled and bowed.

They had worked so hard.

This morning I felt the Christmas spirit.

And I saw it on the faces of 21 precious angels.

Not Me! Monday

2008-12-01T22:00:00.001-05:00

Last week I participated in Not Me! Monday for the first time.

It was so much fun I thought I would try it again.

Here is my week in review.

**************************

I did not go an entire week without writing a post.

Not me.

I love my little blog too much.

I did not worry that I would lose all my readers while I was away.

All 3.5 of you.

You are still there....right?

I did not feel completely consumed with my class reunion last week.

I did not speak to the chairperson ~~daily~~ ~~hourly~~ every five minutes.

I did not email or text her every ten.

I did not ~~beg~~ ask any one to go.

I did not send out mass emails threatening lives if they didn't show up.

That is just not my style.

No one in my graduating class waited until last week to send me their money.

I did not get a phone call on Thanksgiving night, oh say about 9:15 pm, from someone who just found out about the reunion.

I did not get another call, oh say about 6:45 am, letting me know their check was in the mail.

Because that just wouldn't be right.

I did not have to meet people all over town to get their checks.

I did not consider hiring security.

I am not concerned at all that most of my classmates know where I live and have my cell phone number.

Not one bit.

I did not go to my parents for Thanksgiving.

It was not wonderful.

I did not smile all the way there just knowing it wasn't at my house this year.

I of course did not eat too much.

I had a class reunion to attend.

I did not finish it off with a slice of Hummingbird cake.

Or two.

I did not drive two hours home and then rush to the theater to make the 9:40 movie.

I did not see Twilight.

Again.

I did not enjoy it even more the second time.

While shopping for a dress, I most certainly did not look at only black ones.

And I did not inquire about Spanx.

When the saleslady said Spanx would make me look like I was 10 pounds lighter, I did not say, " I will take 4!"

Nope...not me!

I absolutely did not decide on the eve before my reunion to get a spray tan.

I did not come out with any shade of orange on my body.

And my legs did not look like bronze road maps.

Because that would not have been the look I was going for.

And I would know better.

I did not have the best time at my reunion.

I did not get to see friends I haven't seen in years.

I did not wear these shoes.

And I most certainly did not dance in them until midnight.

That would have been silly and irresponsible.

And my feet would hurt the next morning.

******************************

Want to join in ? What haven't you done this week?
Check out more Not Me! Monday fun here.
Need to know the rules? Go here.

NOT ME! MONDAY

2008-11-23T15:00:00.002-05:00

I saw this on her blog and decided I wanted to play along.

It looked like fun.

So here is my first ever Not Me! Monday.

I did not manage to lead 55 children in song at the annual Thanksgiving program at the preschool.

Nope....not me.

One little girl certainly did not have to go potty just before we began and she certainly did not begin crying profusely.

She did not have to be taken off stage never to return.

Her mom would have been so embarrassed.

Speaking of embarrassing.

I did not see any one flash me their panties and I did not see any one pick their nose.

Especially no child of mine.

I did not see Cole turn his back to the audience so he could "pick" privately.

Whew!

I did not jump for joy (in my mind) when it was over!

I did not let the praise an adoration of the parents go to my head.

I did not secretly giggle thinking if only they knew there is not a trace of musical ability in my body.

***********************************

I did not think I could relax after the Thanksgiving program was over.

Nope... not me.

The director of the preschool did not sign us up to sing in a Christmas Concert for the elderly in our community.

And she did not mention it was next Wednesday.

I did not panic.

I do not have to teach the children Christmas songs and put together a program in 4 practices.

I do not need to be reminded again why I am doing this.

***************************************

I have never mentioned any of my many addictions.

One of them is definitely not the Twilight series.

I did not jump up and down with excitement when I heard it was being made into a movie.

I did not purchase my tickets a week in advance so I would be assured of a seat.

I do not have addictions like that.

I did not go to see Twilight on opening night.

I was not one of the oldest people in the theater.

I am not seconds away from adding a tube of Clearasil to my bathroom cabinet.

I did not feel like a crazed tween fan when Edward came on screen.

My heart did not flutter.

And I most certainly did not want to scream out, "Marry me!"

That would have been so silly.

I did not want to watch it again.

And definitely not the same night.

I did not enjoy it at all.

************************

I am not still preparing for my class reunion.

I did not consider not going since I never lost those 25 pounds that I needed too.

I did not have to deal with irresponsible classmates this weekend who have waited until the last possible moment to pay.

I did not have a great time last night with the reunion committee.

I did not enjoy looking through photos from the last 30 years.

I did not laugh and giggle at all our eighties hair.

I did not wish to burn some photos of my fashion sense.(or lack of)

Go on over to her blog and check out more of the Not me! Monday fun!

It's Raining, It's Snowing

2008-11-19T17:00:00.000-05:00

Look really closely at these photos.

Do you see something that is not supposed to be there?

No, I know the shrubs need pruning and the yard needs weeding.

Not that.

Squint.

Now turn your head down to the right.

Now look.

Do you see something glistening and white?

That my friends is snow.

Yup, the first of the season.

Probably the first in several seasons.

It may be all the snow I see this year so I took the opportunity to run around in the flurries and snap a few photos.

I know it is hard to see.

I know it looks like a slight case of dandruff falling from the sky.

But I live in the south and we don't see much snow.

Ever.

So I admit I got a little giddy about the flurries.

Is it possible to make just a teaspoon of Snow cream?

The Keywords That Brought Us Together

2008-11-18T06:00:00.005-05:00

Just a few months ago I shared with you some of the keywords that led you to me.

Thanks to Google Analytics I have more.

They were just too good not to share.

Wendi with an i
Yup, you found me. Not that many of us. I love the spelling of my name.
Thanks for noticing. Most people don't. They usually spell it Wendy with a y. Who is clearly not me.

Because I Said So Dogs Name
I must discourage naming your dog Because I Said So. That would be a mouthful to just get your dog to heel or sit. "Because I Said So heel boy."
And then the dog would look at you and wonder why and you would reply, "Because I Said So." And then the dog would be even more confused. Just not a good idea.
Of course you could be asking what my dogs name is since my blog once was called Because I Said So. In that case....Tar. See simple. One syllable.

Heels Driving Snow Site
I have no idea how you got here. I haven't seen snow in years.
Not. a. flake.

Short love poems made on dog bites.
Hmmmm. I enjoy a good poem, but I have never written one on dog bites.
I will give it a try.

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
If you break my heart,
I will sic my dog on you!

How's that?

Scariest Chili Recipe
My feelings are hurt. Why would you be sent here? I make a mean chili.
Not scary chili. I call it Wendi's Can Can Chili because I use a can of this and a can of that. I don't see anything scary about it. It is quite tasty really. Try it.

I scared to send kiss you because I don't want to infect you.
What is up with the scared theme here? Although for this one I am glad.
I don't want you to send me any kisses. Especially if there is a possibility of infection. Go stalk some other blog!

Wendi watching grass grow.
There is a lot of things I do in a day. I am a mom of three children. I can assure you that I do not have any extra time to be watching grass grow.

When the dog bites, When the bee stings, When I'm feeling Brown.
I hope you just got confused on the lyrics here. The word is Blue.
When I am feeling blue. If you are feeling brown, may I suggest a doctor.
Immediately.

Outdoorsy Kids Vacation
If there is one thing I am not it is outdoorsy. I am allergic to camping.
And bugs. And wild animals. And dirt. And cooking over a campfire.
And fishing. Next.

Fall asleep sitting slurring words
Guilty. I do this often when reading books to my children. They find it annoying. It is hereditary. My mom did it too.
If you are falling asleep sitting slurring words because you are drunk then I think a 12 step program is in your future.

What to do if an addict is in denial.
That is easy. Embrace you addictions. Own them. I did.
I was in complete denial about my blogging addictions. Once I admitted I had the addiction I added a few more. Like Twitter. Now I am Social Network addict and proud of it!

Husbands fishing addiction
Boy did you come to the right place. Where do I begin? I am just thrilled that none of my addictions have left me injured, wet, cold, sunburned, or smelly.

One of these shoes is not like the other
Maybe you should try buying a matching pair. Mismatched shoes are so last year.

You're my urinal
I certainly hope not. I don't want to be your urinal. Though I do have a lovely one on my front steps. At least Nana thinks so.

Monday Mumblings

2008-11-17T15:00:00.001-05:00

I finally did it.

I clicked THE button.

You know the one of which I speak.

The "mark all as read button".

When my reader hit 748 I knew I was just going to get further and further behind.

So last night I mustered up all my strength.

Closed my eyes and clicked it.

Guess what?

Nothing blew up.

My heart didn't stop beating.

The earth continued to spin.

I felt a sense of peace wash over me.

I will never know what I did not read.

Right?

I am going to be okay.

I now challenge you.

When your reader gets too full and the pressure becomes too much...just click it.

You will thank me later.

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Claire has come down with Fifth Disease.

Also known as "Slap Cheek".

Her cheeks are rosy red and her upper body is covered in a fine rash.

I sent her to school because she is no longer contagious.

She called me at noon to ask if I could pick her up.

She thought it had spread.

She could possibly have a fever.

And her back was a bit itchy.

I went to school and signed her out.

Funny thing...since she has been home... no mention of fever or itching.

I think she got me...AGAIN!

*************************

I have been working hard on my class reunion.

I am collecting the monies.

And harassing the non-payees.

I feel more like a thug than a treasurer at this point.

It also just occurred to me I have 2 weeks to lose 30 pounds.

That IS possible... right?

I can just chew on air for the next fourteen days.

That is my plan anyway.

I mean I have only known for 20 years that this day was coming.

Nothing like waiting until 2 weeks before to ~~freak out~~ ~~panic~~ ~~starve~~ start a plan of action.

I am nothing if not a procrastinator.
***********************************

I have a horrible cough.

I am not sleeping well at night.

Because I am coughing.

And hacking.

My voice is hoarse and my throat is sore.

This Friday is the Thanksgiving Program at the preschool.

Remember who the music teacher is?

That's right....me!

After three days of practice, I wonder how I will sound?

Maybe if the audience is lucky I will lose my voice all together.

If I am not around much this week, just know that the busy got me.

Hopefully, next week will be slower.

*********************************

I am a lucky girl.

Tomorrow I have a free afternoon.

To do with what I wish.

My husband was ~~coerced~~ ~~tricked~~ so kind as to give me some time sans kids.

I haven't decided what to do first.

Suggestions?

I may just drive my car around the block, park it, and take a nap.

I wonder if the neighbors would notice?

My Little Picasso

2008-11-14T14:00:00.000-05:00

I thought I would share a little fall art from my budding Picasso.

I love anything with his sweet hand prints.

I love this fall tree.

Check out Cole's fine cutting and gluing skills.

Almost on the lines is good...right?

I love it!

This is an interesting interpretation of a Pilgrim.

It is my invitation to the Thanksgiving Program.

I asked Cole why his Pilgrim had so many circles on his face.

He looked at me and said..."Aw Mom the two on either side of his face are ears and the two in the middle are his eyes."

Confused, I continued...." But Cole you have four ears and four eyes, why is that?"

Looking at me as if I had three heads he said, " But Mom you taught me that two plus two is four so I did everything in fours."

"Of course Cole that makes perfect sense."

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

I Stink At This Mom Gig

2008-11-13T10:00:00.000-05:00

I know it is hard to believe.

It is for me too.

But sometimes things aren't always fresh baked cookies and field trips over here.

I would love to paint you that "perfect" picture, but truthfully that is not how it is.

Take this morning for example.

I was looking over an assignment Claire did.

I noticed a few typos and grammatical mistakes.

I also knew she had not included a few of the requirements.

I offered to retype the assignment and make the corrections.

All hell broke loose.

Claire was not interested in having me correct anything.

It was her assignment after all.

Screaming and crying ensued.

And that was just me.

Then Claire started.

Then Chad added his two cents worth.

Which I clearly did NOT ask for.

Chaos.

I don't try to be controlling.

Really.

I was only trying to help.

Truly.

But sometimes my good intentions come across as controlling.

Or trying to make everything perfect.

For that I am sorry.

I am still learning.

I am not a pro at this whole Mom gig.

I still make mistakes.

I made a huge one this morning.

Will fresh baked cookies and a hug make it all better?

That is what I am hoping for.

Field Trip With Fourth Graders (Part 3)

2008-11-11T08:43:00.010-05:00

We pulled into the parking lot of Jockey's Ridge and were told this would be our lunch spot.

The teachers pointed to a picnic area and we scurried off the bus in hopes of the warm sun thawing us out.

That my friends did not happen.

The picnic area was shaded and cold.

The wind was relentless.

At that point I was wishing my cold sandwich and grapes would turn into hot soup.

We all ate quickly and then headed up to the dunes.

I don't think I have ever seen dunes so large.

Ginormous even.

And wouldn't you know it.... they wanted us to climb them.

So we did.

One step at a time.

We trudged and trudged.

From the top you could see for miles across the Outer Banks.

It was a beautiful view of the island.

Then I noticed most of the kids were no longer on top of the dunes.

They were rolling down them.

Way down.

Including Claire.

Notice she chose to take OFF her shoes.

Because who would climb sand dunes at the beach with shoes on?

Right?

Of course being the fun mom I am I chose to stay put.

And keep my shoes on.

I did not want to find sand in places sand should not be.

I stood on top of the dunes and snapped photos.

I also belted out things like, "Don't roll down if you think you can't climb back up".

And "Look at all that sand, do you really want to take that home as a souvenir?"

Like I said...fun mom!

The kids had a great time and Jockey's Ridge was by far the highlight of their trip.

Sand and all!

We spent a few hours there and then headed to the Bodie Island Lighthouse.

After a brief tour we were on our way home.

My little happy dance ensued.

Fourth Grade Field Trip (Part 2)

2008-11-10T13:48:00.004-05:00

Shaking and shivering we left The Lost Colony.

We only drove a few miles down the road before we came to our next stop.

The Wright Brothers Museum.

The greatest part?

It was warm.

After ~~warming up~~ ~~running amuck~~ touring the museum we headed outside to the bitter cold.

The Lost Colony was warm in comparison.

Do you see that memorial off in the distance?

Way off in the distance?

Like 3,000 miles in the distance?

Yup, we walked up hill against the ferocious winds that were stinging our faces.

I would like to personally thank Elaine for getting me started on my running program.

I am not sure if my endurance could have handled it otherwise.

We got to the top, snapped a few photos and then wouldn't you know it?

They wanted us to walk back down.

I looked for a ski lift or a complimentary golf cart.

No such luck.

So we began our descent.

Which eventually became a slow jog.

Which turned into a sprint to the finish line.

The finish line being the tour buses.

Which were heated and housed my blankets.

Our next stop?

~~The Artic Zone~~ Jockey's Ridge.

to be continued...

Field Trip With Fourth Graders (Part 1)

2008-11-07T16:30:00.003-05:00

Last week I went on a field trip to the Outer Banks.

With a bunch of fourth graders.

What was I thinking?

I will tell you what I was thinking.

A fun, educational trip with 6 hours of reading and nap time.

Um, have you ever ridden a bus with a lot of fourth graders?

Not. quiet.

Not conducive to naps or reading.

We had to leave at 6am.

Again, what was I thinking?

About fifteen minutes into our trip, the drama ensued.

All the kids were busily chatting on their Nintendo DS's.

Someone called someone a bad word in chat room B.

Everyone was in a tizzy over who did it?

It was like a real life version of Clue.

You know It was Mrs. Scarlett in the library with the candlestick.

Only this time it was

The girl in the hoodie, in seat 23, with a red DS.

Who of course denied it.

Thank goodness for smart, techno savvy teachers who figured out the culprit.

We arrived at The Lost Colony three hours later without much more drama.

I have lived in North Carolina my whole life but I honestly don't remember going to see the The Lost Colony.

It was actually quite interesting and educational.

For me anyway.

We went down to the stage where they put on the production.

The stage was built right in front of the ocean.

How cool is that?

Speaking of cool...it was just that.

Freezing.

I have only been colder one time in my life.

On the shore of the North Sea.

This may have been a close second.

What the temperature didn't do, the wind did.

Exhibit A.

Layer upon layer of clothes.

Wind whipping our faces.

After this picture, the hat, gloves, and scarf came out.

Then we clamored back on the bus and hoped we could warm up before our next stop.

We never did.

To be continued....

Tuesday Tidbits

2008-11-04T12:38:00.004-05:00

I am sure you don't need reminding, but.....

Get out and vote!

I voted last week.

The lines were long, but I was still in and out in 30 minutes.

Four years ago I waited in line for 3 1/2 hours.

With a 7 month old.

Not. good.

It could only be worse if I had to take a four year old.

And possibly a nine and twelve year old.

So glad I don't have to go there.

I puffy heart early voting.

***************************

My husband is off today.

One guess as to where he is.

Nope.

He already voted last week too.

Next guess?

Oh how right you are.

He is on a boat....fishing for um, well...fish.

The weather forecast?

Cloudy, windy, and 90% chance of rain.

Not 10%.

90%.

That would mean in all likelihood it will rain.

When will he learn?

I am so glad my ~~addictions~~ hobbies involve being indoors with heat, plumbing, and electricity .

****************************

Last week the busy never let up and I am way behind in my visiting and commenting on your blogs.

My reader is sitting at 614.

I see no other way out of this.

I may have to resort to that "mark all as read" button.

Please forgive me?

************************

Last Thursday I went on a field trip to the Outer Banks with a bus load of 4th graders.

Lets just say that the 12 hour excursion provided me lots of blog fodder.

And 200 photos.

Stay tuned.

********************************
Has anyone started their Christmas shopping?

Please don't tell me if you have already finished.

I may have to hunt you down and beat you.

I have started.

I now have 5 presents.

Two of which are wrapped.

My goal is to have my shopping completed by the end of the month.

A girl can dream ...can't she?

A Halloween Story

2008-11-03T14:30:00.003-05:00

Once upon a time there was a little girl that enjoyed Halloween.

She enjoyed the decorating and the dressing up and the carnivals.

She enjoyed the trick-or-treating and the candy.

Especially the candy!

Then the little girl grew up and Halloween became HalloWORK!

There were costumes to create, parties to plan, cupcakes to bake, candy to buy, parties to attend, and a house to decorate.

She wasn't feeling the fun of the holiday anymore.

Each year when October rolled around she would mope and pout and cringe at the very thought of ALL that needed to be done.

Then one year the girl put on her thinking cap and thought of ways to enjoy Halloween again.

She decided to simplify her decorations.

She decided to buy simple costumes.

She decided not to volunteer as grade mother.

She decided to buy the cupcakes instead of baking them herself.

She only attended one party and only signed up to bring candy.

She let her twelve-year-old pass out the candy for the trunk-or-treat so she could walk with her four-year-old.

She decorated her trunk with minimum decorations.

At the end of the day, the girl was not as tired as she had been in years past.

The girl enjoyed Halloween again.

Especially the candy! (darn that candy!!!)

My Dark Knight

2008-10-31T13:01:00.005-04:00

You know all the princesses.

Sleeping Beauty

Cinderella

Jasmine

Dark Knight

Tinkerbell

Hey. how did he get in there?

That is my Cole.

No, not a princess.

He is Dark Knight.

There could not be a more excited boy than he was this morning.

Getting ready for preschool was a pleasure.

I may have to let him wear his costume every day.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!